


These and More Than These

by RiYuYami



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Denial of Feelings, F/F, John is a doofus, John is a six foot tall bara and Dave is a tiny ball of irony, M/M, Trans Dave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:42:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5923717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiYuYami/pseuds/RiYuYami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going off to a new college, already got yourself an awesome job in Houston, you’re excited to leave Washington for this, you have so much planned for your new life, but you didn’t expect a blond guy with lame shades to be part of those plans of yours.</p><p>Just your typical cliche romance, could make for a good rom-con, yeah?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "I saw the chance, and I took it."

**Author's Note:**

> Another fanfic by me? Well what a freakin’ surprise. 
> 
> Sorry, I’ve been on a serious JohnDave kick lately and I have to do something about it.

Your dad was upset that you were moving so far from home, but at the same time, he was so happy and proud that you had gotten accepted to study biology in Houston. Your thesis paper on bioluminescent creatures that you wrote this year is what got you your scholarship, so yeah, he should be proud!

(Of course he would be proud, your father has this weird pride thing about him when it comes to you, he just loves you so much, haha.)

He helped you find an apartment in Huston, a rather cheap one, but it was still nice. It was one bedroom, you could drive to work and school from it, and it was apparently close to a few little shops so you can get groceries and coffee easily.

After a tearful good bye, and a promise to come home for Christmas, you leave your father and your little neighborhood, one you’ve never lived outside of before, and drive off down the road. It takes you two and a half days to get down to Texas and it is one of the most boring trips of your life. You’ve done road trips before, lots of times with your dad, but driving by yourself wasn’t the same.

However, you are happy to be a proud owner of a portable DVD player that hooks up to your car, so you had movies playing while you drove. You didn’t watch, of course, you just listened and happily quoted the lines of some of your favorite films.

By the time you reach Houston, it is midafternoon, it’s already hot (fucking summer! You should have known!) and you are tired and sore from the drive, not to mention the shitty hotel bed you slept on last night. You find the apartment building where you’ll be living and park in the underground garage. You have the key and paperwork already, sent to you by the owner, so all that happy horse shit is taken care of.

After you park, you happily get out and stretch, throwing your arms up to pop your back.

Then you hear a camera click and see a flash.

Blinking away stars, you glance to your left, seeing someone standing there with a camera. This guy is… short, well, a lot of people are short compared to you, but you almost have a whole foot on him. He’s got blond, floofy hair with what looks like the back and sides shaved down, and light freckles all over the place. He’s got piercings on his ears, eyebrow, and nose, and the stupidest, douchebag-looking sunglasses you’ve ever seen. They’re pointed triangle shades, how fucking anime.

How punk is this kid trying to look, cause it’s not working for you. He looks like a wanna-be cool kid.

You can’t tell, but you think he’s staring at you from behind those stupid shades. “Uh… can I help you?” You ask him before watching him lift up the camera again.

“Hold still.” Is all he says before you’re blinded by the flash, hearing the click once more.

Groaning, you rub your eyes, trying to get rid of the spots. “Hey, what the hell dude?” You say before noticing that he’s already at the elevator at the end of parking garage.

How… how did he move that fast? The guy is still staring at you as the elevator doors open and he goes inside, you see them shut and he’s gone.

…

“Weirdo.” You grumble before you get your suitcase out of the trunk of your car.

\--

You make it to the eighth floor of the building, 8C is your apartment, with all your luggage. Best to take it all up with you now then to make a lot of useless trips, but holy shit, you’re aching from your time saving idea. You’re gonna need to find a gym around here, don’t want to get weak just cause you’re gonna do nerd stuff for school. You get the door unlocked and stumble in, seeing how big and empty it really is. Well, it won’t be like this for long! The moving truck will be arriving tomorrow with the stuff you couldn’t bring in your car.

You drop your suitcase and duffle bag off into your room and look around, grinning to yourself. This is awesome, you’re finally all on your own! And the place doesn’t smell like cake, but it does smell like moth balls, yuck. You set your laptop up on the counter in the kitchen, you won’t get internet yet, gotta do that tomorrow or call this afternoon, but it doesn’t hurt to see if you can sneak onto someone’s network.

You look at your options and notice one of them that doesn’t look locked, it’s also the strongest signal. However, it has a weird name ‘caledfwlch’. Hm, sounds Welsh. You click on it and hook up, holy shit! It worked! You’re on the internet!

Now… do you sit and play on it for a bit or unpack and then go get some food?

After about thirty seconds of thought, you decide to fuck around online.

This wastes you about two hours before you notice that you really should go buy some food, all you have on you are snacks and some warm bottles of water and a half-drank Dr. Pepper. With a sigh, you leave your laptop behind and head down to the streets.

Huston is busy at this time of day, considering that people are leaving work at this point in the day, and you have to be careful crossing the street. You make it to a convenience store and buy yourself a few basic things, you’ll try finding a Walmart tomorrow.

When you make it back, you notice the guy from earlier is in the lobby, his camera isn’t on hand, but he’s got a bag of McDonald’s in one hand and is trying to do the combination on his postal box with the other.

“Hey!” You call out to him, catching his attention.

He glances around before turning his head to you, pointing at himself, making a confused dog sound in response. “Yes, I’m talking to you.” You say, giving him a look, at least you hope you are. “Why’d you take my picture?”  
  
This dude has the most blank face you’ve ever seen and all he does is shrug. “I saw the chance and I took it.” He says simply before opening the door to the postal box and then closing it, probably didn’t get any mail.

“Well, it’s rude! Ask next time!”

“I’ll ask next time then, don’t shit yourself in anger over two lil’ pictures, bro.” Then he has the fucking nerve to smirk before heading in the opposite direction, going for the door to the stairwell instead of the elevator.

W-Well good! You don’t want him riding with you anyway!

In a huff, you head for the elevator and make it up to your floor. You get to your apartment and put your stuff on the counter, but you pause, you weirdly hear… music? The hell? Where’s it coming from? You go to your room, where the music is loudest, and press your ear to the wall.

It sounds like a remix of the Mission Impossible theme. The song ends, and becomes something original. Huh, guess your neighbor likes their music loud, rude, hope they don’t play it when you’re trying to sleep.

You get back to the kitchen and put away the food you bought, but you decide to make yourself some macaroni and cheese. When you finish making your dinner, you sit at your computer and dig into the laptop bag to grab something.

You pull out a blue pen and a sheet of paper. On the paper is a list you made for when you got to Huston, sort of a goal chart.

_Get to Huston._

Check!

_Move into the apartment._

Gonna check mark that tomorrow to make it official!

_Make friends with your neighbors._

Work on that tomorrow as well!

_Start work and school._

That comes Monday and Wednesday!

_Make friends._

Gonna have to work on that.

_Find a girlfriend._

Haha… you’re still not sure how long that one will take.

_Get hobbies that others will join you in._

That one might be easy.

_Fall in love???_

You’re not sure on this one either, but you like the idea.

You take the magnet you took from your dad’s fridge, the one of a harlequin’s smiling face, and use it to tack the list to the fridge. You hate clowns and the like, but you always liked this one cause it was something your Nanna had made.

With a content smile, you turn away from the fridge and finish your dinner.

A few hours later, you set up your sleeping bag and pillow on the floor of your bedroom, it’s eleven at night, you need to be up early to get shit done. You can hear music from the other side of the wall still, but it’s an odd, calming music. Though it’s got a bit of a hip hop thing going for it, it’s really nice and you fall asleep to it.

\--

Monday arrives without much problem, you sorta wish that you had been given more time to enjoy your last days of summer vacation, but what can you do? You need money! Plus, you spent the last two days getting your apartment set up with the second-hand furniture you and your dad had bought at the Goodwill.

It wasn’t much, just an old futon, a moon chair that has the strong scent of Febreeze on it (even before you bought it, it stunk of it), and a folding table and chair set for your kitchen table. You have a bed though! No need to sleep on the floor again, and the usual accessories that one has for a furniture set, all cheap and in need of a good paint job (you’ll have to do that later, you don’t like the old white color of a lot of it cause it shorts dirty and scratches).

You drive to the local aquarium where you had applied and happily got accepted (even though you were clearly in another state! But your credentials worked for you apparently), and you are given your first tasks to do. You have to clean out the tanks in the amphibian section, which isn’t too bad, you worked at a pet store for two years, you know what to do. You got this job because marine biology is your major, and you’re excited to do whatever you can to get knowledge for your future career.

But for now, you are stuck on cleaning/feeding duty for the aquatic mammals and amphibians, and you get to feed the sharks and rays! How cool is that!? Oh, and gift shop, you’ll be working that too, but who cares! Water animals!

You spent the day cleaning the tanks, even making friends with a curious yellow salamander that you lovingly named Casey. You don’t know what species she is, but you don’t care, she is your friend. Soon as you finish, your boss, a Mr. Oscar Ampora (holy shit, this guy looks like the rod up his butt has a rod up its butt) tells you to go on break for lunch. You are allowed a discount at the small café/restaurant they have by the gift shop and you happily clean up and head to lunch.

There aren’t many people there, but it’s sort of crowded since it’s small, lots of children and parents in here, but you do see a fellow employee waving over at you. You guess that means it’s an invitation to come over, which you do.

The employee is a young woman, probably around your age. She’s got almost completely white hair and violet eyes! Holy shit, you didn’t know people could really have violet eyes! Her lips are painted as black as the color of nail polish she is wearing, and she has a purple headband on her head. She smiles a little at you before nodding her head, her name tag has Rose L. on it.

“Hello, you must be the new cleaner.” She greets you in a voice that’s light, but holds a superior air to it, as if to subtly warn you that if you mess with her, she’ll shove knitting needles into your eyes and ride your body down a waterfall.

You smile back at her anyway, after that terrible thought. “Yep! I’m John Egbert, today’s my first day! And from your name tag, I’m guess your name is Rose.”

She nods again. “Yes, Rose Lalonde. I work as a docent here, and I also help take care of the octopus we have on display. I even got to name him.”

“Haha, what did you name him?”

“Fluthlu.” She says in all seriousness before taking a bite out of the sandwich she has on her tray.

You… doubt you can pronounce that as easily as she can, sounds spooky. “Uh, huh, that’s a really… interesting name? Haha, well, I get to clean some of the smaller tanks and I get to feed some of the animals here. I can’t wait to feed the sharks! It’s gonna be so cool!”

“They turn it into a show here, gets a lot of people’s attention. If people donate a few dollars, they get to feed the rays. Money goes towards helping to save these creatures.”

You tell her that you like that idea before you take a bite out of one of your fish shaped chicken nuggets. “So, are you a student at the college, or do you just work here?” Rose asks you, waiting for you to finish your bite.

“Both! I start my first semester this week, same with you?”

“This is my third year, though I did a summer semester to kill some time during the summer and to get some classes out of the way.”

You laugh and tell Rose how you basically just lazed about and worked all summer. You then tell her that you’re going to school to study deep sea marine biology, but you are also going for a minor in coding and computer science. Rose tells you that she is looking into psychology and writing, specifically the latter. She has ideas for a series of books about a powerful wizard. For the rest of your break that day you chatted with her about school and some of your interests. You soon part and head to your respective areas of the building, a smile has bloomed on your face because you think Rose will make an excellent friend, she even gave you her number!

When the work day is done, you stop at a Starbucks and get yourself some coffee before heading home. When you get up to the lobby, you find that one boy again, he’s looking at some letter he got in the mail. You take notice to his hands, they’re covered in specks of paint. The specks go up to his arms, but you don’t see much, his sleeves go past his elbows and half-way up his arms. From how he’s standing, with his left side facing you more, you think you see something on his skin, just barely peeking out from under the sleeve.

“It’s rude to stare.”

You blink, looking at his face, seeing him staring at you through those stupid shades. “Look man, if you wanna check me out, ya gotta pay for dinner first, I’m a simple young man, too innocent for the stares of bachelors and the like.” He’s smirking at you and it makes your cheeks burn in annoyance.

“I’m staring cause you’re in the way of the mail boxes.”

The stranger slips aside, motioning for you to take a look at your box, the one you had set up with the management yesterday morning. You slip in the key (you didn't want a combination lock) and open the box, seeing nothing inside.

“Egbert.” He says and you look over to your right, seeing him looking at the little name tag on the door of the mail box. You slam it shut and give him your best stare down. The guy is just looking up at you through those shades and you see his lip quirk a bit. “Ooooh, you’re gonna be fun having as a neighbor.” He says as he heads for the stairwell.

“Bite me!” You yell at him for his mocking tone. He turned and blows you a kiss, calling you kinky. You want to throw your coffee at him, but you decide to ignore him and make your way to the elevator.

On Wednesday, you found a Starbucks coffee cup in front of your door, your order from the other day is written on it, and there is a weird doodle on the cup in red ink of what you assume to be a caricature of you. The only name on it is Egbert.

Did that guy give it to you? Is this a prank? A small sip told you that no, this wasn’t a prank, and the coffee was luke warm.

TBC

 


	2. Caramel lattes make for weird apologies

Your name is Dave Strider and you don’t know what you’re doing.

You just woke up at exactly 5:21 AM and you wait four minutes before getting up to start the day. You went to bed late, working in your closet dark room on your latest pictures, finally going to sleep at 2:03 AM. You need more sleep, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to stay in bed. Probably cause it takes you forever to pass out again, so what’s the point?

You shower, doodling on the walls with the bathroom crayon set that your niece got you as a joke a few months back. You got her a Harry Potter scarf of the wrong house for her in return (fuck you Rose, Hufflepuff rocks). You draw some little doodles as you listen to the shower radio, just some nonsense doodles, lots of birds today. The radio mentions it’s gonna be another hot day, but there’s a promise of rain Friday. Good, fucking Texas heat needs a cool down.

After the shower, you dress for the day, black binder today, you’re wearing a black shirt, right, yeah, don’t wear white. You notice a new tear in your jeans, stupid washer in the basement cut it again, always with the jeans though, never the rest of your clothes.

It’s 5:52 when you look at the clock again, you want food. Pop-tarts for breakfast, cause they are the shit, especially the apple cinnamon kind. You turn on the TV, catching the ass end of an Adult Swim cartoon, looks like it’s Family Guy, bleh, background noise.

You eat your awesome breakfast, seeing that the time is now 6:05. You glance over at the wall and wonder a bit, that new guy is on the other side, yeah? He moved into that old apartment, you wanna joke and tell him it’s haunted, but he seems like the kinda nerd who would love to live in a place with ghosts.

Especially cause on the day you met him, he was wearing a Ghostbusters shirt. And you know damn well he wasn’t wearing it ironically.

You put your paper plate in the trash and go down the hall, looking into the other bedroom. Your older brother, Dirk, lives with you when his boyfriend is out of town. Dirk doesn’t like being alone at his place and he usually bums around here, sleeping in his old room (which is mostly empty, minus an air mattress, his suitcase, and your canvases).

He’s awake, toying around on his laptop. “Did you sleep at all last night?” You ask, leaning against the door frame.

“I slept, yes, unlike you. I just woke up cause I got an e-mail alert about a new shipment I gotta send.” He replies. “Also, good morning.”

“Haha.” You say without much feeling, referring to his first statement. “I’m gonna check my shit and then head out for coffee.”

“I keep telling you, just get coffee grounds for your coffee maker.”

You groan loudly, slumping to the floor and whining, rolling around for effect. Dirk rolls his eyes at you, looking at you like you’re pathetic. Which you are, but fuck him. “Dude, go get your fucking coffee.”

“Bleh, do you want anything?”

“Get me that iced one that’s as black as my tiny, wrinkled heart.”

You make a face, but agree. You don’t know why Dirk likes iced black coffee, it’s so gross! You, however, have a sophisticated pallet, your body, which is a temple, requires only the sweetest and most delicious of coffees. Dirk tells you to stop being dramatic, since you said all that aloud, and to get going.

First stop, your room. You get over to your tablet and check your e-mail. Looks like Megido sent you an online invite for that showcase, she just sent you one in the mail already. She knows you’re going; she doesn’t have to remind you. You set the tablet aside and slip on your shoes, grabbing your phone and your shoulder bag. “Peace, I’m out.” You call out to Dirk and hear a good bye from him in response.

Out the door, down the stairs, to the lobby, and out into the streets. You walk several blocks, ear buds in, your phone’s mp3 player on, there are people out, but not as many as there will be in a few hours. It’s only 6:28 in the morning, and already it’s warm. You cross an alley and come to a park, ah shit, look at all those crows.

The birds spot you and make their way over when you enter the park. They know who the king is here, the king of the crows, they peck the ground you walk on, they probably have a name for you, King Human That Feeds Us. You always have a bag of honey infused bird seeds in your shoulder bag and they know it. The crows caw at you as you pull it out, excited to be fed sweet birdy delights. “Here ya go.” You say, tossing seeds all around you, the crows attacking then in a flurry of black and feathers.

Your favorite crow, one that has a busted leg and raggedy wings, hobbles over to you. He’s got something in his mouth, looks like he found a really shiny button for you, silver with a cool design on it. “Thanks Davesprite.” You say, taking it from him before putting some seeds in front of him, he happily indulges in them. Davesprite always gives you something before he eats, it’s a little trade off. He finds you the coolest shit, he’s a good bird.

You spend some more time with the birds, even taking some pictures of them, before heading off to get coffee. Dirk knows you’ll be late, he’s use to your daily walks to feed birds and to be an artistic douche.

You get to the coffee shop just moments after it opened and the barista greets you happily. You order a caramel frappe, an iced black coffee, and a caramel latte with extra caramel. Your memory isn’t one hundred percent, but sometimes your grateful for selective memory. You tell her your name, but on the latte, you want ‘Egbert’ written on the cup.

She makes the drinks and gives them to you after you’ve paid. You make your way home, music still playing in your headphones as you take the elevator this time. You don’t like taking the stairs when you have drinks that can easily spill, obviously. You go to the parking garage first, seeing that blue car still in it’s parking spot for apartment 8C. You head back into the elevator, going up to your floor and walking down the hall, stopping outside of the door to your new neighbor. You raise your hand to knock…

Nah, no, you’re gonna be cool about this.

You take a red pen from your bag and set down the drink tray. You pick up Egbert’s drink and you draw his face on it, an original sketch, he should be honored, you’re a professional artist, he’s getting a free drawing from your gifted hand. You set the drink down and grab the tray, heading into 8E.

“You’re later than usual.” Dirk comments when you walk in, he’s sitting in the living room, Law and Order: SVU is playing.

A quick glance at the clock shows you that, yes, you’re eleven minutes later then you usually are. “Delayed, here’s your toxic drink.” Your brother happily takes the drink and sips it while you indulge in your own sweet treat. “What’s on the agenda?”

“Jake will be coming home around three, I’ll be gone before then.”

“So I get my house all to myself again?”

“Yes, until the next time he has to go on another exploration into the unknown terrain of some country he doesn’t know the main language of.”

You laugh a little at this before sitting up and taking off your shirt and the binder, Dirk doesn’t care, he’s grown up with you all your life, and you’re not going anywhere right now so it’s not like anyone is gonna see you, yeah?

Dirk takes a drink from his coffee and leans back. “So what had you delayed?” He asks as you put your shirt back on.

“I bought a coffee for the neighbor.”

“Why?” He asks, his face is blank but his voice obviously sounds curious.

You shrug lightly, toying with the straw. “I dunno, maybe as an apology for taking the dude’s picture the other day without asking? I liked his face and I had to take a picture, then I took it again for shits and giggles.”

“So for an apology, instead of saying it, you decided the best way to go about it is to buy a total strange a drink.” Dirk replies before snorting. “Romantic.”

“At least I didn’t slap the ass of my boyfriend instead of saying hello when I first met him.”

“I couldn’t help it, that fine English booty was just up in the air, needing to be popped to see if it’s got bounce.”

“Does he got da booty?”

“He doooooooooo.” Dirk smirks and you snicker. Jake English, Dirk’s boyfriend of six years, is a fine piece of ass, you’ll admit. Hell, you literally bounced a quarter off his legendary backside once when he was distracted. It worked. Dirk gave you one hell of a noogie for that though.

You look over at him, removing your shades. “Think he’ll appreciate the apology drink?”

“Probably, what’s he look like?”

“Eh… kinda like a nerd? He’s tall, sorta buff, he’s got buck teeth and nerd glasses, and hair that looks like he’s never combed it and just let’s nature take its course.”

“Is he cute?”

“Is that any of your business?”

“I believe it is, especially if my lil’ bro’s got a crush.”

“I don’t!” You exclaim, damnit! He does this every single time! Oh, oh look, there’s the fucking shit-eating grin he always has. “Fuck you!”

You get up from the couch and run for your room before he can tease you more. When you get there, locking the door, you hear a ping from pesterchum. You groan, grabbing your tablet and taking a look. Yep, there’s a string of orange text, making comments about this conversation.

You can’t wait for him to go home to his boyfriend.

\--

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: when are you done with classes

TT: I’m in class right now, Dave. What do you need?

TG: im bored and no one else is on

TT: That’s because everyone else is in class or at work right now, don’t you have work to do?

TG: i did it last night

TG: rose why do you hate me

TG: am i not a good uncle

TT: What is it that you want, David?

TG: thats not my name

TT: Dave, it’s the first day of classes, and I’m currently listening to my literature teacher discuss the importance of the syllabus. What do you want?

TG: i need advice on something stupid i did

TT: Ah, why didn’t you say so? This would have saved us time and we wouldn’t have made this block of text.

TG: shove it up your hole lalonde

TT: Such language in front of a lady, David, how terrible. You should know better than to be mean to a young woman.

TG: you and dirk are terrible and i wish that we werent related

TG: anyway the problem is i did something nice

TT: Le gasp.

TG: dont

TG: yeah okay so this morning i bought a coffee for this guy who moves in next door cause i was sorta being a grade a prick to him the day we met

TT: This is normal, you felt guilty, how is this a problem?

TG: because i dont think he knows its me

TG: but if he does know its me then he probably thinks im a creep for knowing the flavor of coffee he likes

TG: im not creepy im just observant of the different orders at fine corporate coffee establishment that has enslaved the credit cards of many young adults all over the world by the powers of a two tailed mermaid who shows said world her hoo ha on each and every cup

TT: Thank you for the mental image.

TG: youre welcome

TG: i know how easily the thought of splayed mer vagina gets your own all wet and gross

TG: okay that back fired on me cause now im thinking of that and

TG: EW

TG: EWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWWW

TG: EW

TT: Are you done?

TG: hold on one more for good measure

TG: EW

TG: okay im done

TT: I question why we share a similar set of DNA every single time I talk with you. But moving on with this topic at hand, I think that you should actually tell him your sorry for being a pain in the ass for the other day.

TT: And don’t whine about it, I know you’re whining.

TG: how did you know

TT: I’m your niece, I know these things. Now, when you see this boy again, tell him you’re sorry. By the way, curiosity is getting the better of me, but do you know his name?

TG: just his last name its egbert

TT: What’s he look like?

TG: you remember that episode of spongebob squarepants where mr krabs daughter wants to go to prom but her date stands her up so she takes spongebob with her and throughout the episode she talks about how hes long tan and handsome

TG: and then it turns out he looks like a nerdy anchovie in a pair of glasses

TG: thats what he reminds me of except that he is actually long and hes built like a brick shit house

TT: Sounds hot.

TG: too hot

TT: Hot damn.

TG: im singing the song now rose while i heat myself up some spaghettios for lunch

TG: dirk called me an idiot rose tell dirk not to call me names

TT: Dave, I’m your niece, not your mother. You can’t fight your own battles.

TT: Have fun talking to Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome! ;)

tentacleTherapist [TT] has stopped pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: go fuck yourself with your dog girl roommate lalonde

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna end it there cause next chapter will have Dave and John actually having a conversation  
> I’ll also attempt to throw Jade in there.  
> About the whole uncle and niece thing, it will be explained later but what I can tell you is that Bro and Mom fucked to test Bro’s gay levels.  
> Turns out he’s gay and neither thought to use protection


	3. "Maybe he’s flirting with you? Maybe he wants to apologize? Who knows."

You oddly don’t have the heart to throw out the cup that has the weird caricature of your face on it. You finished off the coffee on your way to school and left the cup in the car. It’s been floating around in your mind all day, but not in a way that really distracts you from the wonders of introduction day, bleh.

Oh well, today was the first day and your first class was biology! While there, you met a girl who wore a hat with fluffy dog ears on it, she smiled and motioned for you to sit by her since there weren’t many other seats that weren’t occupied. When you sat down, she smiled at you, showing you her own bucked teeth.

This girl is interesting, her hair is super thick and probably goes down past her lower back if she stands up, and her eyes are huge and a neon green color. Wow, what is it with girls who want you to sit by them having weird colored eyes? “Hi, I’m Jade, are you excited for class?” She said when you sat down in the seat next to her.

“Heh, I’m John, and of course I am! I love biology!”

“I like it too, but I’m more into robotic sciences and chemistry, but I couldn’t resist this class for long! Is this your first day?”

You shrugged. “Well, first day for this school, I went to community college for two years back in Washington before coming here.”

Jade nodded, still smiling at you. “Wow, this is my fourth year.” You blink, is she older then you? As if reading your mind, she replied with. “I’m turning nineteen this year. I finished high school early, my grandpa says I’m a natural born genius and I guess that’s true, but I don’t think so. I just think I like learning a little too much.”

“Y-You’re eighteen and it’s your fourth year!?”

“I know, makes me sound like a nerd, doesn’t it?” She blushed, toying with a lock of hair. You laughed and told her you think that’s so cool!

You and Jade spent the rest of class quietly chatting, finding out that you guys get along so well, as if you were brother and sister. She happily gave you her number and pesterchum handle, telling you to message her so she can talk to you more about her favorite show from when she was a kid. You left class with a smile on your face, yes!

Another friend, maybe, hopefully?

Totally!

Your other class was U.S. History and you got through that quickly, after that was math and you wished you had taken that during your first semester of college, uhg, fuck math.

After you finished your classes, you had made your way back to your car, and that’s where you found the cup, still sitting in the cup holder.

And here you are now, back in your apartment, looking at the cup on your counter. “Is this from that one jerk?” You ponder aloud, drumming your fingers on the counter top as you stare down at the empty cup.

You’re wondering how he knows where you lived if it is that one guy, but then again, he saw your name on your mail box, he probably saw the door number too.

But why would he buy you a coffee? Is it a joke? An apology? Some sorta weird ritual in this apartment building? You don’t know and it’s pissing you off!

You grab the cup, going over to the trash can, and just as you’re about to throw it away… there’s a knock at the door. Setting the cup aside, you walk to the door and look through the peep hole, seeing no one there. You open the door, looking around, you see no one anywhere. “Huh.” You blink, looking at the door to see a sticky note.

‘sorry egbert’ is written on the note in red ink, was this from that one guy?

Why is he apologizing?

You… step back inside, close the door, and lock it.

\--

“I dunno Rose, I think it’s that weird guy.”

“Are you sure? Have you caught him yet?”

“No! I have no idea when he keeps leaving those cups of coffee! But it’s happened for the past four days now!”

Rose just hums, sipping her ice tea as you drop your head on the table. It’s break time at the aquarium on Saturday, and you and Rose are once again spending it together. This morning, there was another cup of coffee on the floor, waiting for you, just as there have been since the first one. Every cup has a drawing on it.

The second one was a drawing of a bird, the third one was of Godzilla, and today it was the Ghostbusters logo. All of them are the same order, you might have to leave a note on your door to ask him to get you a different one, just to change things up.

“What do I do, Rose?” You ask from your current position on the table.

You hear her ponder loudly, probably just to spite you for shits and giggles. “I think you should get up early and wait, just wait at the door tomorrow, to catch him in the act.”

“You think I should?” You ask, lifting your head. She gives a curt nod and points a finger at you.

“It would be your best option; this way you can ask him quickly why he does it. Maybe he’s flirting with you? Maybe he wants to apologize? Who knows.”

You tilt your head a little. “Uh, why do you think he’s flirting with me?”

“It’s just an assumption.”

“You said it before the apology assumption.”

“Are you worried of a man hitting on you, John?”

You rapidly shake your head. “No! Of course not…! I just… uh… it’s not common, you know, for dudes to hit on me.”

Rose smirks at this, leaving you flustered. “Right. I’m guessing you’re quite the lady’s man, eh?”

You tug on your shirt collar a little. “W-well, I did have a girlfriend once…”

This catches her interest quickly, oh shit… “Her name was Vriska and we dated for a bit when I was thirteen, it was weird and awkward, but we never did anything other than kiss, but I got to touch her boob once.”

“That’s adorable.” Rose looks so amused and you’re half tempted to jump into one of the tanks right now. “But anyway, about your predicament with that strange man. I think that he simply wishes to get to know you, maybe he wants to be your friend or something.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh,” She starts, giving you a stare, “I just know these things.”

\--

It’s Sunday morning, just before seven, you got up early for this.

You keep peeking through your eye hole in the door, waiting for your mysterious coffee delivery friend. At about seven, you feel like giving up, only to spot someone approaching the door. It’s him! It’s the guy who took your picture! He’s got two drinks, two frappes, looks like he got your note. He sets one down and pulls a red sharpie from his pocket and scribbles something on the side before setting the cup down.

Your hand is on the door handle, you feel the urge to open it… but another urge to not, to just let him have this moment right now. He seems content with what he’s doing. You stare out at him, he’s walking away.

It’s quiet in your apartment, but a moment passes before you hear faint music coming from next door. He’s your neighbor, isn’t he? He’s the guy who plays music during the day when you’re home. You open the door, picking up the cup. He got you a strawberries and crème frappe, guess you should have given him options.

The drawing of today is a picture of a UFO and a little stick figure man saying ‘oh no not another butt probe!’. You chuckle a little and step inside, sipping the drink. You haven’t kept the cups, just the first one. But you were nice and took pictures of the other ones. You’ve posted them up on your tumblr, making daily posts about the mysterious cups.

You don’t have many followers (your blog is mainly reblogs of paranormal stuff and video games), but Jade, who found you cause your username is the same as your chum handle, likes the coffee cups. She’s mentioned that they’re super cute and maybe you’ll get your neighbor’s attention on there if you keep posting them.

You take a picture of this one and upload it, saying a little comment that you feel like watching the X-Files right now cause of this.

Two hours later, you find two likes on the picture, one from Jade, the other from someone named turntechgodhero. You don’t know who that is, but they’re following you now. You look at the account, finding that the icon is of a crow colored orange, the theme is red and black in color, with accents of other colors to help you see the text without straining your eyes.

The bio is very basic, a simple age/gender/zodiac sign, along with a simple ‘sup’ and tag list. There’s photos on this blog, of just random things. Things that look like professional work, to stuff taken with a cell phone at random. This person, guy from the gender, seems to like taking pictures of birds

The other tags show things for videos, references, and personal talks. Hmm… maybe you should follow back? Why did they follow you anyway? Cause of your coffee picture? Haha, this guy is probably a straight up hipster, well, you might as well be nice, you follow him.

You stretch and get up, going to get showered and dressed, it’s your day off and you just want to relax.

When you return to your futon, you set up Netflix on your TV for a day of watching the X-Files, hey, you might as well! You love aliens and spooky shit!

While the episode starts to load, you check tumblr again, seeing that this new guy made a post.

_going to an art show this week i dont wanna but i have to_

_i might take pictures if theyll let me they didnt last time_

You chuckle a bit, yeah, this guy was a total hipster! But whatever, you need a good laugh. You sit through four episodes of the show while eating a lunch of microwave teriyaki ramen, when you decide that… maybe you should thank your neighbor for the drinks. You sigh loudly and get up, wondering if you should change out of your shirt and sweats. Hmm… nah!

You’re comfortable and you don’t need to dress up for this guy!

Slipping on a pair of shoes, you step out of your apartment and go to your neighbor’s door. You raise your hand, nervous, but you knock anyway.

You count to fifteen before the door opens and the guy is there, staring at you from behind those ugly shades. “Egbert.” He greets you with a slight nod of his head. “What can I do you for?”  
  
“Are you the one leaving the coffee at my door?” You know he is, but you want to see the look on his face for having been caught.

He stares at you and you can tell he just blinked. “Sorry about that, I don’t do well with apologizing for my actions, and I figured, why not coffee? Lots of people like coffee, they pay out the ass for expensive ass bean juice. So yeah, why the fuck not? I’ll apologize with a cup of coffee, every mornin’. I was planning on it being a week, but you caught me too early.”

“You ramble.” Is the first thing to come out of your mouth, he doesn’t look insulted by it.

“I know, it’s a habit.” He tilts his head down slightly, avoiding eye contact. “Dave Strider.” He holds out a hand. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You blink before smiling, taking his hand. “Thanks, I’m John Egbert. So… are you really sorry?”

“I spent a shit ton of money on my apology, what do you think?”

Well, that answers that then. “You could have just approached me and said it to my face.”

Dave shrugs and looks at his feet, heh, his toenails are painted red and green. “I don’t work that way; I like to make it a complex situation for the both of us. Plus, you weren’t complaining, you just accepted the coffees all willy-nilly, yeah?”

“I… yeah, I sorta did.”

“See, then apology accepted, but I took your picture cause I liked your face at that moment.”

You chuckle and grin at him. “What about my face now?”  
  
“Hmm…” He looks you up and down before pulling a small camera from his hoodie pocket. You see a quick flash and blink away the spots. “I like it now too.”

Rubbing at your eyes, you blink a few more times and look down at him. He seems amused by this. “Oooh, this is a keeper.” He says playfully before putting the camera back into his pocket. “So, yeah, we good?”

“Uh, yeah, but next time you wanna take my picture, give me a warning. Jeez, that’s a powerful flash.”

“Has to be, this place is dark, plus I love watching people’s reactions. Welp, I gotta get back to work, see ya around, Egbert?”

You nod a little. “Yeah, see you, Strider.”

Dave gives you a little salute before closing the door. You stand there for a moment before returning home and get on pesterchum.

ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

GT: rose, i talked to the guy who has been leaving me coffees. turns out he is my neighbor and he did it cause he was sorry and not cause he has a crush on me.

GT: which he so doesn’t.

TT: Did you actually ask him if he did or are you just assuming?

GT: i don’t have to answer that.

TT: Which just proves my point, he might have a crush on you and you refuse to acknowledge this.

GT: you are loving this aren’t you?

TT: You have no idea.

\--

TT: So, did your neighbor speak to you today?

TG: what makes you say that

TT: I just had a hunch that he did. Does he like the coffee drinks?

TG: he does

TG: he wasnt mad about them and he posts pictures of them up on his tumblr

TT: Adorable.

TG: youre loving this arent you

TT: Would you believe me if I said you are not the first person to tell me this today?

TG: yes

TT: Good, and to answer your question, of course I am. I continue to age beautifully off of the emotional confusion of boys.

TG: hahaha fuck you

TT: Don’t you have a picture of him to develop?

TG: how did you know i took a picture

TT: Oh Dave, I know you better then you think.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose is the most fun character to write for when it comes to snark.


	4. You bought him a chili dog, he should kiss you.

When you were a little kid, maybe about six or seven, you had a crush of a boy. He was kinda cute, but he had a nasty habit of picking his nose. You liked him cause he could take a punch from you, you, a ‘girl’ who didn’t play with dolls like the other girls or like your niece.

You stopped liking him when he called you ugly and pushed you in the mud. You got in trouble in first grade for punching him hard enough to knock out a tooth. It was a baby tooth. He got a quarter and a bruise, you got detention and a call to Bro.

When you were ten, you liked another boy, he was cute and had curly brown hair. He was also really good at drawing robots. You told him you liked him and he laughed and said he didn’t like tomboys, then he drew a picture of you with a beard. You ate the drawing in front of him, scaring him.

At eleven, you got a crush on a girl and got really scared about it cause girls didn’t date girls. But then again, you didn’t think you were much of a girl at the time, you always wore boy clothes, you just had long hair. Then your oldest brother told you that girls could date girls and boys could date boys. You told the girl you liked her and she called you a freak. You stopped liking people for a while.

You were thirteen when you came out as trans, you said your name was Dave. No one at school cared and those who did called you weird and called you by your girl name. One girl was nice and she liked you, her name was Jade and she was a lot younger then you. You met her online, she was the first person who wasn’t family to call you Dave.

Jade is silly, she is two years younger than you, but so much smarter than anyone you’ve ever met. She also liked blowing things up and owned a gun.

You met Jade in real life at an anime convention Dirk took you to, Dirk met Jake there. You met Jade, she was dressed as a dog girl, you weren’t dressed as anything, Dirk was… he had some weird ass, obscure cosplay on. Jake was dressed as Lara Croft, Dirk grabbed his ass.

Dirk didn’t say anything when you approached Jade and Jake, but Jake introduced himself and reached out to shake your brother’s hand. He looked like he was gonna shake Jake’s hand, but instead he reached over and grabbed a plump ass cheek. Then your brother said, “Nice to meet you, hi, I’m Dirk Strider, oh man, this ass is straight up real.”

Jade was laughing, you wanted to crawl into a hole and die, Dirk was still touching Jake’s butt, and Jake was frozen in place. They started dating a year later.

You had your first kiss when you were fourteen, at the con. Jade and you were both super nervous about feelings, but she really liked you and you liked her. Then she got really upset and cried and you freaked out. She told you she was transgender, you told her you were as well (you never knew when it was a good time to spill the beans about that), she stopped crying and got happy. You dated for a few months until you both decided to just be friends.

You haven’t had a major crush on anyone since Jade.

But now you’re twenty, and you have a crush on your neighbor. You don’t know much about John, but you know he’s a nerd, he loudly sings in the shower, and he goes to college. He also likes Ghostbusters and likes caramel lattes. He also likes ghost things in general, cause you caught him in the hall the other day and he asked you if the apartment building was haunted.

John is still a stranger to you, a friendly one, but still a stranger. If he is, why do you want to invite him to your art show?

Damara sent you two tickets for the show, telling you to bring a friend, that way you can stop looking like a fucking, lonely loser at the shows. You always go alone, you always go in plain sight but never as the ‘artist’ of the paintings and photos on display. No one really knows who the infamous Rambunctious Crow is, a mysterious artist who has started getting attention for their art in recent years.

You hate publicity that isn’t hidden behind ambiguity, you keep yourself private even on your websites. You still get the sweet cash from art fans buying your paintings. It’s totally awesome, Damara is good at keeping you hidden, as long as she gets a cut of the pay.

Looking at the tickets in hand, you sigh loudly and knock on John’s door. You hear him yell ‘coming’ before the door swings open and he’s looking down at you. “Hey Dave.” He smiles at you, buck teeth showing. He’s got a pen behind his ear and he’s dressed like he just got out of bed.

“Dude, you wanna go to an art show with me?”

John looks confused for a second. “An art show? Why?”

“Cause I got two tickets and I don’t wanna go with family and I… thought you might like the idea of goin’ to it. I dunno if paintings and photos are your thing, but I don’t want the ticket to go to waste, plus I’m sure you’re not doin’ shit tomorrow night.”

He laughs a little and shrugs. “Well, you’re right about that! Hm, I guess I could go, do I have to dress up?”

“Sorta, you just need to dress nice and not like how you are now. So… I dunno, wear a sweater vest or somethin’?”

John chuckles and nods, holding out his hand for the ticket. “Sure, I’d love to go.” You give him the ticket and look at it. “Who is Rambunctious Crow?”

“They’re the artist, I’ve been to a few of their showcases, they’re pretty interestin’. They take photos and paint ‘em with different colors.”

The big nerd honestly seems surprised by this, you understand, it’s sort of a strange art form, but a lot of artist do it. You just color everything the opposite color or everything is a different shade of one color. And you always throw a crow in.

Why?

Cause crows are fucking cool, end of story.

“It’s tomorrow at seven, I’ll take you there. Be ready by six.” With that, you turn on your heel (with a little, dramatic spin) and head back to your place.

Once behind the safety of your door, you panic and snatch up your phone, contacting the person you always go to for advice.

Well, the person who isn’t the queen of snark.

“Hello?” Came the cheerful voice on the other end.

“Jade, Jadey, puppy dog, princess of plants, the most awesome of bass players, the sweetest peach, the girl who is gonna save or conquer the world with science, Farmstink Buttlass.”

“Okay Insufferable Prick, whatcha want, my precious god of the bad raps and crappy comic?” Jade sounds amused, so you either made her happy with all those titles, she was already in a good mood, or she’s fucking with you.

Knowing her, it’s all three.

“I need help.”

“Oh boy, you came to me and not Rose, this is some serious shit, yeah?”

“Is Rose there with you?” You ask, hoping she isn’t cause Rose is fuckin’ nosey and needs to MIND HER OWN DAMN BUSINESS!

Jade is quiet for a moment, meaning she went to check. “No, I think she stepped out for work. I didn’t even notice, I had my headphones on earlier. I was listening to space sounds! Oooh, I’ll send you the links on pesterchum later!” She replies when she returns.

“Make a playlist for me, puppy dog, I’ll listen to them that way, get the full experience one after the other.”

“Yes! I’ll do it in order of closest to furthest!” She says happily. “But anyway, what’s the problem, big guy?”

You sit on your couch and sigh. “I have a problem, wanna know what it is? It’s me, I’m the problem. Oh wait, not this time, surprisingly. The problem is a guy.”

“And you came to me, your ex-girlfriend and best gal pal, for romance advice? Irony!”

“Yes, yes, irony, taste it. What’s it tastes like, Jade, tell me, tell me with your dog tongue.”

“It tastes like… LOSER!” She’s laughing and you smile, laughing a little too. Jade keeps you young and full of smiles. Good Jade, best friend.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s lame, but anyway… I invited the dude to my new art show tomorrow.”

Jade gasps a little, like, a serious one. “Really? Daaaaaaave! You never invite anyone! Well, aside from Rose and me, and sometimes Dirk!”

“I know! And that’s the problem! I’ve only known this guy for a few days, and I buy him a coffee every morning, and I’ve got a few pictures of him! And he’s cute and has a nice smile… and face… and his ass, Jade, his ass is hot. I wanna play the bongos on that butt.”

“Is it like Jake’s?”

“No, no one has a poppin’ booty like your cousin. But seriously, what do I do?”

“Well, get to know him more! Get his contact info, hang out with him! Do what you did with me! I know I liked it, you were so cute and nervous and you rambled.”

You groan and you want so badly to jump out the window, she’s making you blush really hard. You love Jade as a friend, best friend, you’d stab yourself with two swords to the chest at the same time then ever hurt her in anyway, but uhg! She knows you too well!

With a loud sigh, you lean back, rubbing your head. “Do you think that will work? I don’t want the guy to think I’m some sorta weirdo.”

“But you are a weirdo.”

“Jade, you have no room to talk. I’ve seen you eat dog snacks.”

“I thought we agreed to not speak of that.” She hisses at you.

You smirk a little. “Yeah, yeah, but still, is that the good idea? I mean, the guy and I haven’t talked much, but he took the ticket and seemed excited. Jade, I dunno what I’m doin’.”

“Do you ever?” She asks, laughing a little to herself. “Anyway, I think it is! And besides, you won’t know unless you try! And you should try!”

Well, it couldn’t hurt, you suppose. Besides, he’ll probably just think it’s how you make friends, since you’re already weird enough as it is. He’ll just think it’s one of your quirks. “Okay, I’ll give your idea a shot.”

Jade made a happy sound, telling you that you had to give her updates on the art show tomorrow. This is all under the threat of her telling Rose some dirty little secrets that only Jade knows about. Of course you give in and promise to give her updates! You don’t need Rose knowing more than she already does!

\--

To say that you’re nervous is an understatement, luckily you’re a Strider and you have a PhD in keeping it cool. You look at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a clean pair of black jeans, and a red and gray stripped, long-sleeved shirt. The shades you usually wear are replaced by an extra pair you have, ones that are simple gas station-bought ones for three bucks. Your hair is styled and you look a little more professional then you normally do. Damara hates when you look like a slob at these things, she’s told you a million times, even though you only did it for the first one.

With one last look at the mirror, you go and grab your phone, wallet, and keys, leaving your place to go to John’s. You look at your watch, wait for it to be exactly six, before you raise your fist. Three knocks on the door and it opens, letting you see John in something other than a graphic-tee.

He’s dressed up for tonight, in a pair of khakis and a light blue button up, over it is a navy blue sweater vest. Huh, you didn’t think he’d actually dress up like this. He’s in a pair of sneakers though, what a nerd, like you should talk, you’re in boots. He’s smiling at you, looking a little bashful. “Too much?” He asks, regarding his clothes.

“Nah man, you look fine. You ready to go?” You ask, and he nods. He steps out and locks up before the two of you make your way to the elevator. “I’m gonna grab somethin’ to eat on the way there, you cool with that?”

“What are you gonna get?” John asks as you step into the elevator, hitting the lobby button before you get to.

“Hot dog, there’s this dude who has a food truck parked not far from here, he does great business at this time of night cause people are out and about and want a quick dinner.” You reply as the two of you descend.

You and John get to the lobby and walk out, it’s quiet between you as you walk out of the building and down the street, going two blocks before seeing the food truck. You whip out your wallet and the vendor smiles at you. “Heeeey!” He happily greets you and John. “So, whatcha want, D?”

“G, gimme a cheddar dog with extra nacho cheese on it. I want that wiener to be swimmin’ in cheese. And a coke, I’ll have that too. John, you want anythin’?” You ask, pulling two fives out of your wallet.

John blinks and thinks. “Uhh… a chili dog? And do you have Pepsi?”

G laughs and nods, telling you that he’d get them for you. You pay him, get your change, and stand off to the side to get your food. “D and G?” John asks quietly.

“Yeah, it’s just a lil’ thing. D for Dave, G for George, I come here often. The food’s cheap, but really good.” You shrug and John smiles a little at you, making a comment to get himself familiar with the food truck.

Soon G has your food ready and you and John continue on your way, walking and attempting to eat your messy food. “We gotta cross through the park.” You say as you finish off the last bite, licking nacho cheese off your thumb.

John just nods, his mouth full of chili. You cross the street and into the park, as you do, you think about Jade’s suggest and you wonder if you should introduce John to your little group. You spot them not far from where you’re walking along the path and you stop. “John, check this out.”

He blinks and stops, watching you as you set your coke down and walk into the grass. You hold out your arms, spread eagle or whatever, and snap your fingers a few times. You hear rapid flapping and multiple weights are now resting on your arms and one on your head. John is just staring at you. “W-what the heck? How’d you get that group of birds to do that?!”

“First, they’re crows, second, it’s a murder. A flock of crows is called a murder. And third, these are my birds, I saved them a long time ago from some asshole kids and now they have me as the alpha crow.” You suddenly see something dangling in your face and you glance up.

Davesprite is the crow on your head, he’s staring at you with a… that’s a bolo tie, he has a bolo tie in his beak, where did he find it? “You want a snack?” You ask him and he tilts his head. You shift and all the crows but your best bird bro fly off, landing back in the grass. You take the tie and hold up the bit of bun you had saved for your friend.

Your human companion watches as Davesprite takes his treat and flies off as you pocket the bolo tie. You glance at John, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “So… uhh…”

“That was awesome!” John exclaims. “I’ve never seen anyone do that! Do you have them trained or something?”

Well… you weren’t expecting him to be so excited about that. Usually people get freaked out when you do that. “Sorta? I mean, they respect me cause I respect them, and feed them every morning. And one of them gives me stuff for food, his name is Davesprite, he’s my buddy. Cool guy, he’s the one who was on my head.”

John laughs at this, and not in a mocking way. He was actually amused by your crazy antics to impress him. “That so cool! I wish I could do that! My own personal animal army to do my bidding.”  
  
You actually let out a small, amused laugh. It was quick, nothing that would really catch much attention, like a true Strider laugh. “Yeah, I haven’t gotten them to do that yet. Yet is the key word there, give me time.”

From the grin on his face, you can tell that john is alright with all of this. The two of you start to walk once more, down the path that cuts through the park. “Hey Dave, what do you do for a living?” John asks to break the silence.

“I’m a professional photographer.” You shrug, sipping your soda. “Like, I take pictures of weddings, family gatherings, portraits, shit like that. Sometimes I get called in to take photos of funerals.”

“Funerals..?”

You nod, smirking a bit behind the rim of your can. “Yeah, sometimes people want photos of their loved ones after they’ve passed on. There’s a name for this, memento mori. That shit was done back in the 1800s, and sometimes people wanna do it nowadays. It’s crazy.”

“O-oh, I bet…” He laughs nervously. “You don’t, uh, like that sorta stuff, do you?”

“Eh, not really. Death ain’t my thing, well, at least when it comes to humans. See, I like collecting dead things and keepin’ ‘em in jars in my room. I’ve been doin’ it since I was a little kid. My bro got me a butterfly in a frame and I thought it was the coolest shit. So from there, the collection grew. I’ve got lots of stuff. I like to take pictures of ‘em too.”

John looks at you funny, shit, you said too much. Good bye friendship, and possible boyfriend.

“Do you preserve them yourself, or do you buy them online?”

Okay, you weren’t expecting that sorta question, John is just full of surprises. “A little of column A, and a little of column B.” You reply. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, cause I was curious. I deal with preserved things all the time, I’m a biology major.” John smiles, winking at you as if it’s a big secret.

You talk with him a little about this, he tells you what he’s majoring in and that he loves deep sea creatures cause they’re ugly and weird, and also really cool. You can’t argue with that, though that makes you think of Rose, she loves that shit. He tells you that when he was a kid, he wanted to be a magician, then a joke shop owner like his grandma. After a bit, he wanted to be a hacker, but he sucked balls at it, and when he was thirteen, he got into studying biology.

“I love it, but what I really wanna do is study ecto biology!” He grins at you.

“You mean ghosts?”

“Yeah! Ghosts are awesome! I’d love to study them and shit, but I think I’d be laughed out of the scientific community for it. But the least I could do is get an Ig Nobel prize for it!”

“Follow your dreams, Egbert.” You smirk before pointing out the building where the art show was being held. Damara is outside, taking tickets, she spots you and smirks when she notices John.

This is gonna be a long night.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An Ig Nobel prize is given to people who did very unusual studies that most people wouldn’t bother with. They are very ridiculous; my favorite is literally a study on ‘gay dead duck sex’. Look it up, it’s hilarious, it has to do with pheromones.
> 
> Memento moris are a real thing that became very popular in the Victorian era, which you had to sit still for a long period of time in order to take a picture. Families who lost loved ones would get them dolled up shortly after they died and get a picture as a way to remember them, and because they didn’t have to worry about them moving and ruining the image.
> 
> G is just a made up dude, I dunno, not everyone had to be a canon character. I almost made him Gamzee, but then I thought, fuck that.


	5. ‘i forgot what i was doing with this one so i ate the subject cause it was getting soggy’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be honest, I dunno much on art shows, I’ve only been to two really interesting galleries so I’m sorta basing my experience on those.

Dave is a really weird, funny guy.

You weren’t expecting much when the two of you were leaving the apartment complex, heck, you didn’t expect him to pay for dinner. But he did! And it was good! You are so gonna come back for another chili dog.

And the thing with the birds, that was so awesome! You’ve never seen anyone so easily command birds like that, especially crows! So far, that’s the highlight of your evening.

Dave seems interested in your talks about biology, he mentioned that his niece is interested in that stuff. You didn’t take him for an uncle, that’s pretty cool. Soon you two make it to the building where the art show is being held, and there’s already a crowd of people out there, quietly talking about what they hope to see or other stuff.

There’s a taller woman, she appears to be Japanese, or Chinese. You’re… not sure? She’s dressed in one of those pretty Chinese dresses you see women wear in movies, but she’s greeting people in Japanese. You don’t really speak those languages, hell, you barely speak Korean (your grandma does, but she’s, like, half-Korean or something).

(She sure as hell knows enough to curse people out, and to have a very basic conversation. Nanna’s weird.)

The woman looks over at you and Dave and she smirks, Dave seems annoyed by this. He pulls you over, glaring at her. “Here’s the tickets, Damara.” He says, holding up his and having you hold up your own.  
  
“Thank you, David.” This Damara lady replies, still smirking. Dave scoffs at her, taking you inside, holding onto your sleeve.

“So, uh, do you know her?” You ask, that’s a stupid question.

“Yeah, she’s someone I work with. She also hosts Rambunctious Crow’s shows for him.” Dave says before turning to you. “You cool with this? I mean, you don’t look like an art lover.”

You laugh a little, smiling down at him. “Nah dude, it’s cool! I’ve never been to an art show before, it could be fun!”

The building is set up strange, the room you’re in is large, with floor-to-ceiling pillars, covering in framed photos and paintings. The floor is concreate, and so is the ceiling. Dave tells you that this building is for gallery exhibitions, it’s nothing fancy, you’re meant to look at the art more than the surrounding area.

There’s a table by the entrance, covered in little finger foods and plastic cups for the punch bowl, you’re not sure what’s in the bowl. Dave tells you it’s spiked fruit punch for the party goers, since the majority of them are older than twenty-five.

“This is opening night for the gallery, it’s more… adult themed, I guess. Tomorrow it will be opened to the public.” Dave says as he walks up to the table, taking a small plate and covering it in pigs-in-a-blanket and small cheese crackers. “Want some?” He asks and you shrug, getting yourself a plate of the same things he grabbed.

Glancing around, you see lots of people much older than you and Dave, happily chatting it up with one another, all dressed either casually or in slightly more fancy clothing. Well, at least you’re not over-dressed, same with Dave. “So, what do we do?” You ask Dave as he shoves a cracker in his mouth.

“We just walk around and appreciate the art.” He says before swallowing. “Some people will bid on paintings; the top bidder gets the painting after the gallery is finished being shown. The money goes to the artist. You do it over there.” He pointed at a table where someone was sitting, a guy was talking to the girl sitting there and she wrote something down.

Hm, she sorta looks like Damara, only with super frizzy hair. They might be related.

Dave starts to walk off and you quickly follow, not wanting to lose sight of him. He stops in front of paintings every once in a while and looks at them quietly as he works on his snacks. Some of the paintings were of locations in the city, colored weird. One of them was of a building, but the colors were smeared, as if it was done with finger paints.

There was another, of the park, done all in blue. You saw paintings of beaches, more buildings, blurred paintings of people doing things, stores, even everyday objects. All the paintings had weird titles to them though.

There was one labeled ‘ _my brother slammed the door and i messed up on this_ ’. Another one read ‘ _i need to go to the store after i finish_ ’. Your favorite one was ‘ _i forgot what i was doing with this one_ _so i ate the subject cause it was getting soggy_ ’, it was a half-finished painting of a bowl of fruit loops.

Dave was right about them having a crow in them, be it obvious or hidden somewhere for you to try and find. Shoot, there were even just paintings of crows! You took note that a few of them were of crows of different colors, orange being a very obvious one.

“Hey look,” you pointed at one of the orange crows, “isn’t that your bird friend?”

The two of you looked at the painting of the orange crow, cleaning at one of its wings, it was obvious this was Dave’s friend since the bird’s right foot was bent out of shape and it was missing two of its toes. Dave hummed in agreement. “Yeah, that looks like Davesprite. Crow caught the guy’s good side, look at ‘em, adorable. Too bad it’s not for sale.”

You blink and notice next to the painting’s little name plaque, that read ‘ _gotta look pretty to impress the birdies_ ’, NOT FOR SALE. Some of the other paintings here had not for sale signs too.

“Ah, too bad, I really like this one. I also like the blue park one too.” You say as you glance over your shoulder at the latter.

“Go bet on it.” Dave tells you and you shake your head, telling him that you don’t think you can afford a nice painting right now. Hey, you’re a college student with a part-time job, you’re only making enough to pay rent and to buy food and gas. Thank God your dad is helping with utilities, or else you’d be screwed.

He nods, saying that it’s understandable, and who knows, maybe next time Crow will paint something you like in your price range.

You laugh and pat his back. “Yeah, maybe, but what makes you think I’ll go to the next show?”

“Cause I’ll probably drag you along.” Dave smirks and you snicker a little, following him to another painting.

Along with looking at the paintings, you also look at the photos. Some of them are really nice, others look super artsy-fartsy, and others are really hipster-ish that it makes you laugh and you crack a few jokes about them. Dave joins in, shit-talking some photo of a metal outdoor chair with shadows in grayscale.

The two of you then go and make jokes about some of the paintings, much to the annoyance of the more, _ahem_ , ‘serious art lovers’, as Dave put it.

You guys spend about an hour there before leaving, going out into the mildly cool Texan night. You’ve only been here for a short time, but you’ve never seen Houston as night, it’s kinda nice, sorta makes you think of Seattle.

“That was fun.” You tell Dave as you start walking down the street. “Heh, maybe I will go with you to the next gallery.”

“Glad you liked it, I usually get bored going through ‘em.” Dave replies, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Wanna grab a bite to eat?”

“You’re still hungry?”

He shrugs a little. “I’m a tiny man with a big appetite, besides, I didn’t eat much today, sorta kept puttin’ it off and shit and now it’s coming back to bite me in the ass.”

You gape at him a little, in a theatrical way, playing the part of being overly shocked. “Whhaaaaaa, bull shit dude, then you do need to eat! You’re so tiny!” To prove your point, you put your arms under his armpits, much to his protest, and lift him right up off the ground. He’s got a bit of weight to him, but he’s pretty easy to lift up! Plus, you’re a strong guy, got some awesome hammer arms!

Dave squeals and starts kicking his feet. “John! You son of a bitch, put me down!” He yells and you start laughing. He’s so angry and flustered, it’s like picking up a pissed off kitty cat. “This is demeaning to us both!”

“Hahaha! Oh man, bro! Maybe you do need to eat! Let’s put a burger or two in you!”

“I will kick you in the balls, Egbert!”

You’re still laughing as you set him down, Dave is a blushing mess as he tries to straighten out his shirt, you can tell he’s glaring at you from behind those stupid shades of his. “Do that again, and I will make you regret ever even considering thinking about doing that.”

You just nod, the grin on your face not letting up for a second. “Hehe, dutifully noted. So, where do you wanna go?”

“There’s a place nearby, called Burger Bob’s, they’re really good, we can do there.” You agree and he walks with you down a few blocks to find it. The restaurant is a small one, between two buildings, but when you go inside you find it to be longer than it is wide.

There’s sport stuff on the walls and a few TVs playing sports, there are already people in there happily chatting and eating and Dave takes you to a table. A bubbly, chubby waitress with a lot of neon-colored bracelets and necklaces approaches you and gives the two of your menus, while taking down your drinks.

When she leaves, Dave beings to look through the menu. “I’m gonna go for the grilled cheese kid’s meal.”

“Kids meal?” You ask, chuckling a little.

“Yeah dude, you get your drink included with your meal, and you get dessert, don’t diss a free dessert.”

You laugh a little more, shaking your head. “I’m not. Hmm… I might go for the corn dog kid’s meal. Mostly because I already ate some stuff earlier, and totally not because of a bonus dessert.” You say, getting the smallest hint of a smile from him.

The waitress returns with your drinks and the two of you give her your orders. When she’s gone again, you converse with Dave, he asked you questions about you earlier, your turn to ask him things.

“So, do you go to college or something?” You ask as you toy with the salt shaker on the table.

Dave frowns and gives a little shrug. “Nah, not ready for it. Too busy with life and stuff to worry about expensive day care. Besides, I already got a job that I’m content with, don’t need more schoolin’.”

“Well… uh, if you weren’t taking pictures and went to college, what would you study?”

He reaches over, taking the pepper shaker, and toys with it a little like what you’re doing. “I don’t wanna say.”

“Why not?” You ask, now super curious.

“Because it’s stupid and lame and dumb, and I don’t think it’ll do me any good.”

“Oh come on, I told you I wanted to study ecto biology, you owe me.” You try to be stern, but you’re grinning. Dave looks up as you, at least you think he is, and he sighs as he leans back in his seat.

“Okay… but don’t tell anyone.” Who are you gonna tell, you only know, like, three people, and one of them is right in front of you. “I’ve always wanted to be… a paleontologist…” He mumbles.

You blink, wait, isn’t that the study of dinosaurs? “It is.” Dave replies, oh shit, you asked that out loud. “See, it sounds stupid, right? But I thought it was cool, going out and finding fossils of big ass dead things, or tiny dead things, depending on your location. I’ve always had an interest in dead shit, hell, after I got my first trilobite fossil, I begged my older brothers to take me up to Buttfuck, Montana, just so I could attempt my stupid dream of finding dinosaur bones and having a dinosaur named after me.”

Dave looks so embarrassed right now, it’s… kinda cute, haha, well, you know, in a ‘you totally got the cool kid to blush and break his poker face’ kinda cute way.

You grin a little. “That still sounds really cool, Dave. I think you should do it, when you’re ready to go to school. You shouldn’t give up on your childhood dream. Shoot, I might not be able to study the science of ghosts like I want to, but I can sure as hell try! You should go study dinosaurs! I bet you know a lot!”

“I do, yeah, cause I’m a huge nerd.” He sets the pepper shaker down. “But you’re still the bigger nerd out of the two of us.”

“What? Why!”

He smirks, fixing his shades on his nose. “Cause I’m the cool kid, that’s why.”

“Bullshit! You’re always wearing goofy anime shades! Why do you wear those anyway?” You ask as you lean in, trying to take his shades off his face, he's wearing a different pair tonight, but they look tacky anyway cause he's indoors. He gently slaps your hand away.

He scoffs and waves his hand at you a little, for you to get out of his personal space, before he speaks. “Because my brothers wear shades like that, and because I have very sensitive eyes. I’m albino, if you haven’t figured that shit out already, kinda obvious.”

You stare at him, well, now that you think about it, yeah! He’s super pale and so is his hair! “What color are your eyes?” You ask, super curious now. “Are you one of those blue-eyed ones, or the infamous red?”

“Infamous red, and no, I’m not taking off the shades in here, still too bright cause of all that neon shit on the wall. And I don’t need you staring at them, okay? Don’t like people lookin’ at me, it’s creepy.”

“You wearing shades get people looking at you, Dave.”

He snorts loudly, shaking his head. “I know, but they can’t see my eyes, I don’t like eye contact.”

“Oooooh.” You nod, smiling as you take a drink of your soda.

The two of you converse for a while, asking more questions, even when you get your food. You find out that Dave is twenty, his birthday is in December and he’s a few months older than you. He has three older brothers and a niece. He tells you he doesn’t really know his parents, but he’s cool with that. He is also the baby of his brothers and gets picked on for it.

You learn that he loves to make music, especially with his turntables. He doesn’t really play any instruments, minus his turntables and he played in his school band on the trombone. He said that if it wasn’t for the trombone belonging to the school, his older brothers would have destroyed it.

You tell him how you can play the piano, that you’ve been playing since you were three and have won a few musical events in Washington. You even know how to play the pipe organ, you use to attend church as a kid and you got to play the pipe organ at the church during special events. You brought your electric keyboard with you to Houston and Dave says that he’d like to try some mixes with you.

The idea of making beautiful music with Dave appeals to you greatly for some reason. Wow, that came out wrong, bad thought! Bad John, what the hell dude?!

Anyway, the two of you finish up your dinner and your bonus mini sundaes before heading out. It’s night time and it’s gotten a little cooler, better than that horrible Texas heat during the day. You and Dave walk down the streets quietly, occasionally breaking the silence to point things out that you spot as you walk. You point out a butt ugly dress in a shop window, Dave points out a used condom on the street. This earns a laugh from the both of you as you get to the apartment building.

It’s a quiet elevator ride up to your floor and then a short walk down the hall. “Thanks for the outing, Dave.” You say with a grin. “I actually had fun, even though I don’t know shit about art.”

“Hey, no problem, bro, glad you had a good time.” Dave replies, scratching his side. “Anyway, guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, heh, see you later!” You tell him as you pull your keys from your pocket and open the door to your place, giving him a little wave before going inside.

Going to your room, you start to undress, getting yourself ready for a relaxing rest of the night. Heh, you had fun, you need to cross off your list that you made friends with your neighbor! Cause you did!

Meanwhile, while you’re getting ready to go into the shower, you have no idea that Dave is flipping out over the events of tonight and texting up a huge wall of red text for your green-eyed classmate.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Burger Bob’s is a real place and it’s awesome, it’s downtown in the city I live in.
> 
> The idea of Dave playing a trombone makes me laugh, so that’s why it’s mentioned in this. He would find a very annoying instrument to play, especially one he can play if he does a terrible joke or just wants to annoy his poor brothers (they probably deserve it).
> 
> Also, Dave's painting titles are the most random things I could think of cause this is Dave we're talking about.


	6. The one where Dave and Rose are both having trouble with crushes and Nepeta shows up

The smirk on Rose’s lips makes you want to crawl into a hole and just fucking die.

“How was the date?”

“Don’t, don’t you dare start, Lalonde.” You warn, narrowing your eyes behind your shades at her. She invited you to lunch today, the day after the art gallery opening, and you had a horrible suspicion that she was up to no good.

You were correct.

She feigns hurt, trying to look like a dramatic character in a soap opera. “David Elizabeth Strider, you seem mad, as if I am up to no good or something.”

“You are, did Jade tell you? I told her not to say anything!” You hiss, getting a few stares from another table at the Ihop you picked to eat at.

Rose smirks again. “She got too excited about the news that you went on a date with a boy that she blurted it out to my cat, but failed to notice that I was within ear shot.”

“Jade, you traitor.” You grumble, toying with the straw in your drink before sighing loudly. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything, tell me everything, my dear, beloved, uncle.”

You stab your straw into your drink before picking it up, putting it to your lips, and spitting a chunk of ice at her. She yelps and swats at you. “Dave, be mature.”

“When you stop being a nosey butthole. Why do you want to know about my non-existent love life?”

“Because of antics of the life of Dave Strider entertain me more than any book ever will. Now spill, I’m dying to know all the details that Jade didn’t tell Jaspers.”

You sigh loudly, tossing your head back with a long whine, earning you more stares. “Look, I invited my neighbor to the show, he’s a nice guy, huge fuckin’ dork. We joked about my artwork and photos, he never found out that I’m Rambunctious Crow. Then we went and got food, it was nice, we talked, got to learn a little bit more about him, fuckin’ nerd lord. But he’s cute, so he’s nerdiness is endearing. I let John meet Davesprite and crew, he thought they were cool.”

“How cute, one date in and already he met your friends.”

Rose is a bitch, you love her, but God… she’s worse than you when it comes to being a smartass! “Flighty broad.” You snap at her and she simply waves you off. “John isn’t interested in me like that, at least it doesn’t seem like that. Besides, we only just became friends.”

“That’s usually how it starts.”

You glare at her, but you light up when the waiter comes back over to your table with your food. Hot damn! Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes!

“Did you really just chant ‘pancakes’ out loud?” Rose asks, you didn’t even notice that you had, and the waiter is still there, he looks amused. You play it off, saying that you don’t care, you’ve got an awesome plate of pancakes in front of you. She rolls her eyes and starts to cut up her omelet. “So then, you and John are friends?” She asks you as you pour a mix of all four syrups on your pancakes. Rose makes a face. “That’s too much sugar.”

You look up at her and just pour on more of the butter pecan syrup. “Never enough sugar.” You then pour regular syrup onto your hash browns. Your niece almost gags at your actions, you don’t, you love this sorta shit. “To answer your question, I’d like to think that John and I are friends. I… hope he thinks I am one, and not just that neighbor that buys him coffee and invited him to a weird art show, and took his picture a few times. Oh shit, what if he thinks I’m a weirdo?”

“You are one.”

“You know what I mean, Rose.” You frown, putting a chunk of pancake into your mouth, oh God… it’s like a party in your mouth and someone brought out the dildos and lube. “I just don’t want him to think I’m a freak, I’ve had enough of that shit in my life to know that I hate it with a passion.” You say as you put a hand to your chest. She knows, everyone in your immediate family knows, even Jade and Jake know. But John doesn’t, if he finds out, he might act weird around you, or worse.

Heh, you REALLY don’t want that to happen, not with a guy like John. Especially cause you think the guy is really cute and you have a crush on him. You’re already worried about him not liking you for being pan, how would he be if he found out you’re trans?

“Dave, you’re worry-eating again.” You blink at what Rose said before realizing that your mouth is full of pancakes, eggs, and part of a sausage link. When you get worried and have food in front of you, you shove it into your mouth to distract yourself. It’s painful, but you swallow it down. “Dave, it’s alright, I’m sure John will like you for who you are.” She sips her coffee. “An egotistical, artsy-fartsy, hipster douchebag who had to have his older brothers check his closet every night until he was twelve for the… what was it again? That Chucky doll?”

“Yes, and then it became the doll from Saw, and you can shut up Rose. Or do I need to remind you of when you first saw an octopus, you cried in fear and had to have Bro carry you around so it ‘wouldn’t eat your brains’?”

The look she is giving you is one reserved solely for you when you’re on the thinnest of ice with her. When she was four, Bro took you, her, and Dirk to an aquarium and Rose cried when the octopus on display smacked into the glass. You may or may not have screamed, and Dirk took a picture. You still have the picture, you like to show it to Rose to remind her that she use to have nightmares of it before it became her favorite animal (and before she got her tentacle dildo that she so doesn’t want you to know about).

Rose huffs at you, holding up her butter knife at your face. “We don’t talk about that, Strider. Anyway, just… tell him about being trans when you’ve gotten more comfortable with one another, don’t tell him automatically.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, like I’m gonna tell the guy that I have boobs on under my binder the next time I see him, yeah, yeah, that’s the best idea.”

“Your sarcasm is bitter and nasty, Dave.” She replies dryly before going back to eating.

You roll your eyes and work on your pancakes in mild silence before you finally decide to speak again. “So, how is that whole courting thing going with the vampire chick?” You ask and Rose sighs loudly, haha! Time for you to suffer from having someone else dig into your love life. You love when you get to do this.

Rose looks up at you and sighs again, looking annoyed. “She has a girlfriend now.” Ouch, touch luck there, Rose. “Kanaya told me the other day, said that Serket asked her out and she said yes. Damnit, I thought I was being obvious about my affection for her, but I guess she just likes terrible spider girls instead.” Serket? Oh, that one girl that Kanaya never says the first name of, for some reason she’s embarrassed about her crush on the bitch and keeps quiet about her. Looks like she’s over that now, since they’re dating.

“Understandable, but you also have to remember that you were asking out a girl who lives in Washington, you’re in Texas, long distance is hard to work with. Especially when there’s terrible spider girls you can bump uglies with in the same town as you.”

“You’re not helping me take the rejection well, David.”

“Don’t call me David.” You say as you shove eggs into your mouth. “Look, just go out with Jade. She’s cute, funny, the most awesome science person of all time, and she loves Squiddles just as much as you. Plus, ya know, you live together, so you’re already got that goin’ for ya.”

To be honest, you’ve been trying to play match maker with Jade and Rose for a long time, you think they’d make a cute couple and you know Jade has a crush on Rose. You even have a pairing name for them, Guns ‘n Roses. It’s a work-in-progress, but you like it. Cats and Dogs is your other name; Jade approves of that one.

Yes, she’s aware of your little mission to get her and Rose to get lucky, but she’s too nervous and shy to ask Rose out. Especially since Rose is all over that Kanaya girl she talks about a lot. Poor Farmstink Buttlass, she has to deal with that all the time.

Rose shakes her head. “I don’t want to trouble Jade, besides, I’m sure she only likes me as a friend anyway.”

You want to flip the table right now, but one, it’s covered in delicious food, and two, it might be bolted to the floor. “You’re more stubborn than me, and that’s sayin’ somethin’.” You huff and start working on your soaked hash browns. “Look, just… I dunno, cool off from not getting any vampire pussy, and find out that you’ve got a thing for the greatest puppy in the world.”

“Dave, if I didn’t know any better, I swear you still have feelings for Jade.”

You pat your chest, right where your heart is. “I hold a special place for that girl in my cold, shriveled, blackened heart. A small flame, enough to keep it warm, but not enough to light it on fire. Jade will always be important to me, and that’s why I want her to be happy! And damnit, you better make her happy, or you’re gonna face Mama Dave!”

She smirks a little. “Mama Dave? Really? You sound like Roxy.”

“Hey, don’t diss your cousin, she’s the bee’s knees. She needs to come visit again.”

“She’s busy at school right now, something you need to be busy with.”

You stick your tongue out at her. “No school for me right now, thank you very much. I’ll stick to lazing about and doing photoshoots for people who pay good money for their precious memories. This way, they’ll always know that they can remember a special event in their life, thanks to some guy they’ll probably never meet again.”

“Wow, you made that sound so pathetic.”

“Just doin’ mah job, ma’am.”

\--

After lunch (and making Rose pay), you head off to the park. You have a lot on your mind and the buzzing thoughts have made you feel a bit sick to your stomach. You really don’t want to vomit up that delicious meal you had, but you hate when your crippling anxiety comes around to make your happy time a living hell.

Luckily for you, your bird friends always calm you down. And here they are, totally excited to see you, the alpha crow, the crow with the magical bag of bird food. Pulling it out, you throw them some seeds and they go nuts. Davesprite is there, happy to see you, with what looks like a hat for you today.

Wait a second… you know that blue cat hat anywhere…

“There you are, you little, feathered thief!”

Looking up, you spot a familiar face. The girl who is running towards your flock is shorter than you, dressed in a heavy-duty military jacket, covered in patches and pins. Her hair is blond and her face is splattered in freckles, sorta like yours. She comes to a stop when she spots you, green eyes lighting up and a smile forms on her lips. Her upper lip has a scar on it from an accident, making it look sort of like a cat’s mouth. You told her this once and she was so happy to hear about it that she kissed you.

“Hey Nepeta.” You greet her when she approaches, smiling a little.

Nepeta Lejion is a girl you knew from high school, one of the only people in your life that you can call your friend. She’s super sweet and also one of the strongest people you know. No, seriously, this girl is fucking strong, she has a very lean, muscular body, but she’s even stronger than her gross, sweaty best friend.

You became her friend when you helped her save a kitten from a storm drain and while you were getting the kitten out, you talked to her and just sorta clicked. You like her, she’s awesome, and Nepeta thinks you’re pretty damn cool yourself.

Also, doesn’t help that you like to RP with her, especially are your cat persona that you made for her.

“Hey Dave!” She smiles. “Your pesky bird fur-end took my hat.”

“I told you to be careful about that, Davesprite just loves the damn thing for some reason.” You put a few seeds in front of your feathery friend and he happily releases the hat in order to eat. You snatch it up and present it to Nepeta. “So whatcha up to, it’s been a while.”

“Same old, same old! Fef and I moved in together, but I told you that already, right?”

You nod, watching her put the hat back on. “Yeah, because Equius was becoming too much. Hey, did you ever give him that horrible drawing my brother made for him?”

She laughs at this. “Oh my God, you should have seen the look on his face! He was sweating so much, I thought he was gonna pass out!”

“Did he get a boner?”

“Yes, and it was so gross! He’s all ‘oh my, Nepeta, bring me a towel, and possibly some tissues’. Bleh! He’s got it framed in his room, in case you were wondering.”

You couldn’t help laughing at that, holy fuck. Equius Zahhak is Nepeta’s best friend (for whatever reason). He’s this weird guy who gets boners easily and has a thing for muscles and horses. He’s also a rich douchebag who hates you, but he adores your brother because Dirk likes horses and is on the muscular side.

He hasn’t met Bro though, you bet if he did, Equius would fucking die from all the blood is his body going down to his dick. If he ever met your other brother, Dane, his dick would shrivel up and die. Dane’s a scrawny guy who would look like a meth head if he didn’t exercise daily and groom himself to perfection.

Your second older brother is Hollywood trash and one day, you wanna be like that.

“So what about you, big guy? What are you up to?” Nepeta asks as she takes a handful of seeds and gives it to your murder of crows.

You give a little shrug. “Nothin’ much, got a new neighbor. He’s nice, a big nerd, you might like him.” You say, feeling a bit more relaxed. You like being around Nepeta, she’s like Jade, she calms you down and puts you at ease. You don’t know why, you just have a nice connection with her, heh, maybe in another lifetime or universe, you guys were two souls in one body. What a dumb thought, but a nice thought though.

“Oh really? Maybe you should introduce me to him! What’s he like?”

“His name is John, he’s taller than both of us, and he’s a bara-kinda guy. But I know you could whoop his ass easily. He’s also a huge dork, but he’s cool.”

“Is he cute~?” She asks, smirking at you. The look on your face probably just answered that. “Eeee! Okay, now I HAVE to meet him! Invite him over to your place and have me come over as well!”

“Oh come on! You’re just as bad as Rose and Jade right now!”

She snickers and winks at you. “You brought this on yourself, Akwete Purrmusk.”

“Boooo, don’t bring the fursona into this.”

“I did, and I ain’t takin’ it back.” She laughs shoving her hands into her pockets. “Talk to me more, Dave! We both know you’re not that busy to just fur-get me so easily! Don’t make me send my muscles after you, grabbin’ you with all those gross, sweaty limbs of his.”

You shudder violently, she’s done it before when you refused to leave your room once cause of some stupid thing you were being all melodramatic about. “Please don’t. Alright, I’ll talk to you more, shit man, when I clean up my apartment, I’ll have you come over for game night with Jake and Jade.”

“Yes! It’s been fuuuuurrrrr-eeeeffffuuuurrrrr!”

“That’s the third fur pun in this conversation, and that one had two going for it so that makes it technically four.”

“I haven’t been able to get out any good cat puns so far, but don’t worry, I will online. I always do.” She grins at you. “And it will be paw-some!”

You roll your eyes, but you smile at her. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to you later. We cool?” You hold out your fist to her.

“Yeah, we cool.” She returns your fist bump. “Now, if you excuse me, I was in the middle of trying to go shopping before your bird snatched up my hat.”

You snap your fingers and Davesprite flies up, landing on your outstretched arm. You scratch his head a little. “Don’t worry, he apologizes. Say sorry, Davesprite.”

He blinks and looks at Nepeta, tilting his head a few times before letting out a sound that sounds like a gargled ‘sorry’. Crows have the ability to learn simple human words, it’s great. You taught all your birds to say ‘fuck you’, you like to mess with people with that skill.

She smiles with that cat-like smile of hers and nods. “Apology accepted. Talk to you tonight, Dave!” She gives a wave before making her way back from the way she came.

You wave at her before letting Davesprite return to his friends and you sigh, feeling better now. But still, your stomach felt a bit queasy, though you suspect that to be a combination of your anxious feelings towards your crush and the large amount of food you consumed.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, filler chapter, I just wanted to establish some things. 
> 
> One, RoseJade will be a pairing in this story, but I wanted to have that build up like the JohnDave. Two, Rose doesn’t know Vriska’s first name, but John knows who Vriska and Kanaya are. It’s like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing going on in this fic.
> 
> Three, I love Dave and Nepeta being friends, especially cause Davepetasprite is one of my favorite character (they’re very content with themselves and Dave’s in a dress, let me have this). Four, Dirk doesn’t like Equius, but he sure loves to fuck with the creepy guy.
> 
> Five, Dave has three older brothers. Bro is named Dean (he’s Rose’s father), Alpha Dave is Dane (he lives in Hollywood, but I might throw him in, and he’s like a taller, thinner Dave who also has albinism), and Dirk is closer to Dave in age and occasionally lives with him, as seen in chapter two.
> 
> Chapter seven will also be a filler, from John’s POV, where he talks to Jade about this, and maybe Vriska. If you couldn’t tell, I’m trying to make this story long.


	7. "Heh, wouldn’t it be funny if it was Dave?"

When you decided to spend your break between classes in the student center, you didn’t expect anyone to sit with you, but here you are, sitting next to a very giddy Jade.

“Uhh… you’re in a good mood today?” You smile, a little nervously. Why was she excited? Cause its Monday? Doesn’t seem like something to be excited about in your honest opinion.

Jade just giggles a little, she’s got this suspicious glint in her eyes, like she knows something that you don’t. “So~ how was your night, last night?”

“Last night?” You blink, before remembering that you spent it with Dave. “Oh! It was great! Why do you ask?”

“Because you have this smile on your face and it’s been there all day, so I figure that last night was great! Did you have a fun time? What did you do? Tell me!” She was practically in your face, like an excited puppy. You a bit scared that she might lick your nose.

You nervously laugh, leaning back a bit. “Well, uh… I was invited to an art show last night, by this guy I know. He’s my neighbor, weird guy, but kinda nice. Anyway, he invited me and he bought me food and showed me some cool bird trick. Then we went to the show and we goofed around in front of a bunch of snooty art people. After that we had dinner and we went home.”

“Awww, was it like a date? Did you kiss him on the door step?”

A sudden burst of heat came to your cheeks and ears at this, what!? “W-what?! No! W-we didn’t kiss! Gross, Jade! I don’t kiss guys!”

Jade pouts a little at this. “Way to be an ass out loud, John. Why wouldn’t you kiss a guy?”

“B-because I’m not gay.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, big guy.” She shrugs, pulling back from your personal bubble. “I’ve kissed a guy before, a cute boy.”

You’re still blushing deeply. “Well, yeah, you’re a girl.”

She reaches over and flicks your nose, hard! “Ow! What was that for!?”

“John, you need to stop being so black and white and look at the rainbow. I’m bi, I like girls and guys. It’s a thing that exists, same with being pansexual. It’s not just straight and gay nowadays! And besides… how do you know that you’re one hundred percent straight?”

You stammer, what the heck is she getting at?! You’ve never had any attraction to men before! You can appreciate if a guy looks good, just as you can with a girl, but you’re not interested in men sexually!

At… least not that you know of? You’ve never been one to think on your sexuality at all, it’s never been anything important to you, not even when you dated Vriska (the best you did was grab her boob, that’s your only sexual experience with another person).

“I… I don’t know, why are you asking this?”

“Because I’m curious and because it sounded like it was a date to me. A romantic evening between two bros, having a good ol’ bro time. Bros being bros, with fluffy bro-ness happening.”

“Stop saying bro.” You groan, glancing around, God you hope no one was listening in! “Look, Dave just wanted to hang out with me, I think he wants to be my friend or something.”

“Dave, eh?” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Isn’t this the guy who was bringing you coffee every morning? Is he still doing that?”

You nod. “Yeah, that’s the guy, and no, he hasn’t done it in a few days.” Dave told you last night that it’s becoming a bit of a pain in the butt buying your sorry ass coffee every morning, especially after you accepted the apology already.

Also, he was running out of ideas for doodles and he wanted to sleep in. “I dunno, I sorta want him to do it again, I liked posting up the pictures on tumblr. Even though only you and that one guy like the pictures.”

“What guy?” She asks, leaning back into the couch you two are sitting on.

“This guy who randomly started following me. His name is, uhh… turntech something? I don’t remember, I keep forgetting it. But his icon is of an orange crow.”  
Jade nods, she’s smiling. “Heh, I know who you’re talking about. Turntechgodhead, he follows me too, weird guy, but I like his photos.”

“Same here.” He doesn’t post much, at least not what you’ve seen, but he posts up random photos, one picture that comes to mind was from the other day, his toes were painted rainbow colors. He reblogs a whole lot of shit though, jeez, lots of weird, random posts. His tags are either super simple or rambles, makes you think of Dave.

Heh, wouldn’t it be funny if it was Dave?

“Anyway, yeah, maybe I should ask him to do it more often, I really like the little drawings and stuff. It’s kinda… cute? Yeah? You know what I mean?”

Jade happily nods and pulls out her tablet (the back is covered in stickers, sometimes you forget that she’s really kid-like for a college student who is a few years younger than you). “What are you doing?” You ask her as she happily starts to type on the screen.

“Ooh, nothing, just decided to message a friend about something. Don’t you have a class to get to?”

You look at your watch and gasp, shit! You’re gonna be late! “Fuck, you’re right! Later, Jade!” You run off, waving at her as you head to your next class. You totally don’t see the evil smile on her lips as you head out of the building.

\--

gardenGnostic [GG] opened memo Operation: Make Pepsi-Cola Canon  
TT: Pepsi-Cola?  
GG: i thought it was a good name for dave and john as a pairing :)  
TT: Well, I’ll give you credit, it does seem rather creative. Alright, I think I can work with this. So, you think it’s a good idea to play match maker with these two clueless fools?  
AC: :33 I just ran into Dave at the park and saw the evidence that there is something every obvious about his f33lings fur this mysterious John boy.  
GG: and im glad you told me you spotted our common friend! i think it is our rightful duty to get involved with dave and johns romance  
TT: As far as I know, John is completely clueless that Dave is crushing on him, this might take a while.  
AC: :oo Oh j33z, I just found out and even noticed that Dave has the f33ls for this John guy."  
AC: :33 What do you think we should do?  
timaeusTestified [TT2] has joined the memo  
TT2: I was informed that there was a discussion of my younger brother’s love life that could result in some form of embarrassment for him.  
TT2: I want in.  
TT: Glad to know that you have an interest in Dave’s romantic affairs, even if it is solely to watch him squirm.  
TT2: I love the kid, but this is just petty revenge for him getting nosey about me and Jake.  
TT2: Speaking of Jake…  
golgothasTerror [GT] has joined the memo  
GT: I got curious of dirks snickering and had to see what the hubbub was all about  
GG: hi jake!!! :D  
GT: Oh hello jade! it appears that you are the devilish mastermind behind this memo  
GG: guilty as charged  
TT: Should I get Roxy involved? She might be done with classes right now, and I feel like she would get a kick out of planning to set my uncle up.  
AC: :33 I say go fur it!  
TT2: I have no complaints; she might have some great ideas.  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has joined the memo  
TG: jade i love you so much right now <3  
TG: <3 <3 <3  
TG: whoops  
GG: hehe! i do what i can to get involved with my best friends love life  
GG: especially when it involves a cute guy who might be perfect for him???  
TG: got a pic of the guy  
GG: no but ill take one the next time i see him! or just ask dave for a picture! hes got a couple of them as far as i know  
TT2: If I remember correctly, he’s got two pictures of the guy in his room. But that was what he had when I was still there.  
TT: It’s three now, he took another picture, but he might have taken a few pictures last night at the art show. I’m interesting in seeing if he did. I should ask him, but he’s currently ignoring my existence.  
TG: whadya do now rose  
TT: I may or may not have teased him during lunch today.  
TT2: You tease him all the time, and he always goes right back to talking to you.  
TT: I may have struck a nerve that he’s still bitching about. I stopped, but I did not apologize.  
GG: ill get him to show me the pictures later but right now he told me hes busy working on getting some pictures developed for work so he wont be online  
AC: :33 He better be on later; we have an rp to continue! He’s left me out in the rain fur too long!  
GT: In a cardboard box with the words free kitten or best offer written on it i presume?  
AC: :DD Oooh, nice one!  
AC: :33 *Nepeta happily curls up next to the adventure loving man, nuzzling her head against his hand, hoping for a little pet on the head, maybe?*  
GT: *Jake smiles as he pets the happy cats head and is joyous to hear content purring from the cat*  
TT2: Now is not the time to rp, we have a romance to develop. I need information, what can you guys dish out to me about this John guy.  
TT: He and I work together at the aquarium, but don’t tell Dave that.  
TT2: I have a brilliant idea forming in my head right now, you guys are gonna love it.  
GG: do tell!  
AC: :33 I'm all ears!  
GT: I have a bad feeling about this because i can clearly see the wicked smirk on your face  
TT: That makes me want to know even more now.  
TG: spill the beans dirky mama rola has to know  
TT2: Alright, here’s my plan for the first attempt at Operation: Make Pepsi-Cola Canon.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE CODING I HATE CODING I HATE CODING
> 
> You'll find out Dirk's plan next chapter.


	8. Movie nights don't always involve wearing your crush's shirt

When Rose asked you earlier this week if you’d like to join her for lunch at her work place, you were even more suspicious than you were about the lunch at Ihop. However, again, she was buying you lunch, and you get to eat next to a tank full of small sharks and rays, so hell yeah you’re gonna go eat lunch with her.

She suggested Saturday, which isn’t that bad of a day to go, especially cause you can take a tour and get some awesome pictures at the aquarium for your blogs. You asked Rose if you could be given permission to get pictures at certain areas, and she said sure. She also asked if you could let the aquarium use some shots for their site, they need an update on the photo gallery, to which you agreed.

So here you are, at the aquarium of the city. You just bought yourself a pass and entered inside, finding Rose near the children's section. It’s the area that’s all colorful and full of silly ocean-based wall décor and climbing things shaped a turtle and a pirate ship. A little part of you wants to get on the ship cause it looks cool as shit, but… nah, you can embarrass your ass doing something stupid later.

“Yo, Lalonde.” You greet, approaching her as she is quietly speaking to a little girl who is trying to pick up a horseshoe crab from the touch tank.

Rose turns and gives you a little nod in greeting. “You’re early.”

“You act like this is not normal, I’m either early or late, never on time.” You reply, toying with the camera in your hands. You brought one of your nice ones for today.

She shrugs and tells the little girl to be careful with the horseshoe crab and to keep it in the tank. Rose then turns to you again and wipes her hands on her pants. “Well, it’s my break now, you ready to enjoy some cheap food?”

“You know I am.” You nod and look around. “Busy day?” You ask as you follow her towards the café.

“No, this is a normal day. You need to come visit more often, we have a new exhibit you might enjoy.”

“And that would be?”

“Ancient sea creatures from prehistoric eras, with examples of some of them still being alive.”

You let out a groan, because fuck that sounds awesome, but you know she’s doing it to poke fun at some of your interests. “Anything deadly?”

Rose nods and looks over at you. “Yes, but no flash photography, some of the creatures are from deep waters.”

You give a nod and enter the café with her, asking her to get you the kid’s meal that comes with the shark shaped chicken nuggets. She rolls her eyes at your request as you take a seat at a table by the tank. “Hello fishies,” you smirk, “I’m here to harass you.”

“Dave?!”

You turn to look in front of your table, seeing John staring directly at you, looking just as shocked as you feel (since you’re totally not breaking your poker face). “W-what are you doing here?” He asks, you notice he’s got an aquarium employee shirt on and a name tag.

“You work here?” You reply with instead of answering his question.

“Yeah, I thought I told you!”

“No you didn’t, I would have remembered if you did.”

John frowns a little before grinning nervously. “Uhh… sorry! Welp, I’m on break, mind if I join you?”

You wave at the table, offering him to sit down. “To answer your question, I’m visiting my niece, she asked me to come to lunch with her.”

“Who is…” He glanced back over his shoulder when he noticed Rose approaching with a tray of food. “Rose?”

Rose looked at him, blinking once. “Oh, John, is it time for your break?”

You stare at the both of them, before it registers in your mind that these two… “You know each other?!” You and John both exclaim and Rose shrugs, her lips tug up into a small smirk.

“Oh dear, did I never mention that I work with you, John, and that Dave is my uncle who is only a day older than me.” Rose says, totally faking her shock. “You two are idiots, did you really never mention any of this to one another?”

“I… I knew John worked with animals, that’s all he told me.” You say, looking at the blue-eyed man.

“Dave mentioned he was an uncle, but he didn’t say much.” John mumbles, he looks so embarrassed and you don’t blame him.

Rose rolls her eyes, setting the tray down and putting food in front of you. “You two need to speak to one another more, alright? I know you two want to be friends and all, but actually talk more than just weird topics.”

You give her a look while John says he’s gonna grab his lunch. When he’s over by the counter to order, you stare Rose down. “This was a trap, you set this up.”

“Dave, whatever made you think that?” Rose says as she puts a fry into her mouth. “And this wasn’t my doing, this was someone else’s plan. But I won’t say who.”

“Jade?”

“No.”

“Nepeta?”

“No.”

“… Roxy?”

She shakes her head. “No, but she was excited about the plan when she found out.”

You have no idea who it could be, who knows that you like John? Just as John arrives, you realize who it could be. “DIRK!” You announce, slamming your fist on the table, startling John and a few people in the café area. “This has Dirk written all over it!”

Rose shrugs as she quietly eats her food. “Dave, eat your kids’ meal.”

You glare at her, pouting as you munch on your shark chicken nugget. John nervously chuckles. “Uh… I honestly had no idea that you two were related, heh… I mean, now that I look at you two, I can sorta see it.”

“It’s a bit weird, yes, especially since Dave is only one day older than me, and yet he’s my uncle.” Rose says as she shrugs. “It’s a funny story as to how I came to be.”

“Oh yeah?” John questions, a bit interested.

You let out a loud snort. “Basically back in high school, her mom and my eldest bro were best friends, and Bro was having a crisis, he was wondering if he was into dicks and butts, ya know? So Mom Lalonde is all ‘let’s bump uglies and see if you are gay’.”

“And?”

“Basically, Bro would rather be all up in a Burger King than be inside of a Dairy Queen.” The look on John’s face is priceless, you snap a picture with your phone before he even knows what to do. “So yeah, turns out Bro is gay, very, _very_ gay. And from that one instant of heterosexual sex, came my pain in the ass, beloved niece.”

“You’re too kind, David.” Rose scoffs.

“Stop doing that, Rosaline.”

“I will tell John secrets about you if you call me that again.”

Rose will, you know damn well she will, this is how Jade knows some shit about you that you never told her before. She now knows that you once drank expired milk for five bucks and had to get your stomach pumped for your stupidity, or the time you pissed yourself in fear at a Chuck E. Cheese when you were six cause the animatronics reminded you of Lil’ Cal.

You shove another nugget into your mouth, huffing as John laughs a little behind his hand. “You guys are weird, now I can totally see how you two are related. Hey Dave, when I’m done eating, you want me to show you around?”

You want to tell John that you’ve been here lots of times, but the smile on his face and his big, blue eyes make you give in so quickly. “Sure dude, I need to take shots of this place anyway, cause tentacle fucker over here says that they need some new pictures for the site-ow!” Rose looks innocent after she just kicked you under the table. “Blah, blah, huge witch.”

“Goodness gracious, Dave, how mean of you to say. Anyway, John, don’t you have tank cleaning to do?” Rose asks, looking at the brunet.

John shakes his head. “Nope! Finished all those right before break! Honestly, today was so quick that I finished all my work, and Mr. Ampora hasn’t given me anything else to do today!”

“Then I guess you can give me the grand tour, in private.” You smirk and John laughs, agreeing. Stupid man, doesn’t know when he’s getting flirted with, it’s like dealing with Jake. Now you understand why Dirk was bitching so much before Jake finally realized that Dirk was hitting on him.

You almost feel bad for him, almost.

You’re sour about this little trick; you don’t need anyone playing match maker for you.

After lunch, Rose returns to work and you walk with John to the entrance to the exhibits. John takes you through the first hall, full of things like bottom feeders and jellyfish. You snap a few pictures, some with perfect composition, and a few with John and you being nerds in front of tanks. He shows you Rose’s octopus and you both take a picture with it, doing your best Rose faces.

You walk with him to the huge tank full of tropical fish of all kinds. John tells you that they sometimes let people go in to swim with the fishes, but you have to pay out the ass to do so. You snap more pictures and get one of John make faces at a pissy looking purple fish. John says that he calls that one Eridan, after the asshole son of his boss who comes in sometimes, expecting to be waited on hand and foot.

This gets a laugh out of you, especially when John tries to impersonate him, but just makes a bunch of ‘weh’ noises. You both snicker and run off to take pictures of the tank full of rays and tiny sharks. John points out what kinds are in there, cause he’s a fucking ocean nerd, and it’s rather endearing.

But he’s still a huge nerd.

More pictures are taken before you two finally get to the long tank-hall full of the big sharks. John points out a lot of these to you and you snap more pictures. After that, he takes you to his favorite part of the aquarium, where they keep amphibians. He shows you the yellow salamander that he lovingly named Casey, you ask him why he named her that, and he said because she is his daughter, his lil’ hummingbird.

John tells you it’s a reference to a movie he loves, you don’t know what movie it is. “What?! Don’t tell me you’ve never seen Con Air!”

“Is that the movie with Nic Cage and the plane or something?”

“It’s more than that! Dave!” He grabs you by the shoulders and looks you straight in the eye, holy fuck, you might have a boner right now. “Dave… sweet, innocent Dave… I will have you watch that movie. And you will love that movie. We’re doing movie night, at my place, because we have to have you watch it.”

“Only if you get to watch a movie I pick you.” You say without thinking. Well, you were planning on hosting movie night this month, guess you can do it at John’s if he’s cool with that.

John grins and lets you go. “Great, we’ll do it tonight!”

“Can I bring friends?”

“Sure, it’ll be awesome to have more people see it!”

With that, the two of you moved on towards the traveling exhibit they had, with all the deep-sea fish and dead things. The exhibit hall is dark, with black lights and neon colors. The tanks are lit up slightly so you can see the butt ugly fish and you want to take pictures, but John tells you no, cause the living fish they have on display are light sensitive.

So instead, you film with your phone. John tells you all sorts of facts, he’s so excited and happy as he goes on and on about the different sea life. You ask him about why he knows so much, to which John reminds you that his major is this sorta thing. You then watch a tank full of jellyfish gently move while a light in the tank slowly, faintly changes light.

While John quietly tells you about the immortal jellyfish, you brush your hand against his and he doesn’t react. You’re both happy and sad, and you feel so pathetic.

\--

John answers the door after only two knocks and he looks so excited to see you.

“Hey Dave! Are your friends coming?” He asks happily. Earlier in the day, when you and John were toying around at the touch tank in the aquarium, you discussed with John yours plans for movie night, how things usually go.

Basically, everyone comes to your place (in this case, John’s) and everyone brings a movie. Then it’s up to vote what gets to be watched first and then the others are picked in the same fashion, usually not all of them get watched, but that means they get left for next time. Snacks, commentary, and whatever else happens throughout the night.

“Yeah, my friends are on the way, but I’m here first cause I’m right next door.” He lets you in and you smell something awesome. “What is that?”

“Cookies!” John says. “Sorry, haha, I come from a long line of bakers and sometimes I just get in those moods to bake.”

“What kinda cookies are they?” You ask as you glance into his kitchen, seeing a huge plate full of what looks like chocolate chip cookies, but with white and milk chocolate chips. You’re gonna drool and embarrass yourself but you don’t care, you want a damn cookie.

John laughs, he must have figured it out cause he just offered you a delicious cookie, holding it out to you right after he picked one up off the plate. You take it without question, it’s so warm and fresh and both crunchy and soft and HOLY FUCK THERE IS A STRAIGHT UP PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH AND EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME.

“Dave, are you crying?”

You put a hand to his mouth. “Shhhh… John, no… don’t ruin the moment, me and the cookie are having the most beautiful moment together. John, this is the greatest cookie I’ve ever had, it’s perfect…”

“Dave, you’re weird.” John says from behind your hand, you shush him again as you finish off your cookie, quick to snatch up another one just as there’s a knock at the door. John steps aside and answers it, blinking.

“Jade?”

“Hi John!” You hear the voice of your beloved best friend and you choke on the delicious cookie. How many people do the two of you both know?! “Dave said we we're having movie night here, guess this is your place, isn’t it?”

You watch as Jade steps in with Rose, the latter girl’s lips were pulled up in a smirk as she glances at you. You roughly swallow your bite of cookie and sigh loudly, only to get a tight hug from Jade. “Hey Dave, thanks for inviting me! I’ve got a great movie for tonight.” She winks at you before she goes to chat with John.

Rose turns to you and picks up a cookie when she steps into the kitchen. “John and Jade are classmates, but he doesn’t know she’s your ex.”

“How many people do John and I both know?” You ask her and Rose simply shrugs before munching on her cookie.

You notice that she’s staring at you, which sends off warning signals in your head. “So I noticed that your chest looks a bit… lumpy.” She says quietly enough for you to hear, but not Jade and John.

A bit of heat comes to your cheeks and you tell her to shut up. You wear a binder when out and about, shit, you wear it sometimes when you’re trapped in the house, but you enjoy not wearing it cause wearing a chest squishing piece of fabric hurts after a few hours. And sometimes it feels good to just laze about with your boobies out.

Okay, you only do that when you’re by yourself, but right now you’re protected by a hoodie. You have, what Bro has ‘lovingly’ called, ‘mosquito bite titties’. You have a small chest, but it’s still obvious that there’s something if you’re not in baggy clothes. Hopefully, John won’t notice shit and no one will crack a joke.

There is another knock at the door and John opens it, being greeted by Dirk and Jake. You can see the smirk on your brother’s lips and you flip him off when you walk to the couch. “Hey,” he greets John, ignoring you, “I’m Dirk, Dave’s bro. This is Jake, my best butt buddy.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “Shush, you were the butt buddy last night.” You hear Jade yell ‘eww!’ loudly. “Anyway, lovely to meet you! You must be John, Jade’s told me so much about you!” He takes John’s hand and shakes it. “I’ve got some movies for us to watch tonight, I hope you’re a movie buff!”

John laughs, shaking his hand in return. “You have no idea. Come in, make yourselves at home!” Jake thanks him and steps in with Dirk. “Is this everyone?” John asks, looking over at you.

“Yeah, another friend of mine wanted to come, but she has a late shift at work, so, not tonight! She sends her love.” Nepeta wanted to go, but she took another shift at work cause she wants a bit of extra money for the month. You promise to let her pick out the movie next time.

You all get situated in the living room, John puts out food which includes the heaven cookies and traditional popcorn, always a must. John presents to you guys his copy of Con Air and you guys let him go first with the movie because he’s brand new to movie night. You all then put the movies you brought on the table to see who gets to go next.

Dirk and Jake brought over the new Mad Max (along with a shit load of other movies, but that was the one they wanted to see more), Rose has a copy of Blair Witch Project, saying she felt nostalgic tonight. She picked it cause she knows that you hate that movie and it scares the shit out of Jake. Jade presents her copy of Guardians of the Galaxy, excellent choice, and you put down your copy of the brand new Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movie, you just got it the other day from your brother in Hollywood.

John gasps loudly and snatches it up. “Holy shit! How’d you get this?! This movie doesn’t come out on DVD for another month! Is this bootleg?”

Dirk chuckles as you shake your head. “Nah dude, I get access to free franchise shit before other people do.”

“And how are you able to do that?”

Okay, Dirk’s laughing now and you smirk. “Because, my dear, sweet Egbert, the director and creator of the movie series is my older brother Dane Strider, and I’m Dave Strider, the online comic maker.”

The look on John’s face is more priceless than a Mastercard. “N-No way! You’re D-Stri!?” You nod and he lets out a strange, wheezing sound as he looks between you and Dirk. “How…?”

“Well, when I was twelve, my big bro and I thought it would be awesome to make a web comic, so we came up with these two friends who did stupid shit. Lo and behold, he wrote out the poorly written dialogue and I drew the shitty art of the first comic and it became a hit. A few years later, my bro wrote a movie script and then it became a movie. I get credit under the name D-Stri or a weird misspelling of my name. Dirk gets some credit too, cause he helps with some music sometimes.”

“Pretty sweet gig, we get a few royalties and a bunch of free shit that our Hollywood brother likes to send our way. If you want, we can get you a signed copy or somethin’.” Dirk says. “You know what’s funny, you reacted almost like Jake did, except Jake broke down and cried from joy.” Jake is now blushing and Jade giggles.

John’s blushing as well as he looks at the case. “T-that’s so cool, I didn’t even know. But now that I think about it, you do look like him, sorta, except the shades are different? And you’ve got a lot of freckles.”

“Striders look a lot alike.” You say before picking up Con Air, handing it to him to put it in. You all decide to watch the new SBaHJ movie after, then Rose’s movie, Dirk and Jake’s, and finally Jade’s. She has no problem with this, mostly because she knows if you don’t watch it tonight, you watch it next time. Plus, she’ll most likely watch it tomorrow on a stream with you, as per usual.

You all take a seat in the living room, John’s couch can hold three people, he’s got a shitty love seat, and a moon chair set up. Rose and Jade have the love seat, Dirk took control of the moon chair, and you are currently sitting in the middle of the couch between John and Jake as the movie starts.

It takes you about three minutes before you start making commentary on the movie, especially when the How Do I Live song starts to play in the bar when Nic Cage’s character, Cameron Poe as John informs you, talks to his wife. Jake and John shush you, but Dirk, Rose, and Jade join in. John figures out that commentary is very common during movie night and he joins in too.

You guys poke some fun at the corniness of the film, and John even gets up at one point to quote word-for-word the scene where this one guy is holding up Casey’s bunny toy and Cage is all pissed. 'Put the bunny back in the box' is John's favorite like apparently. You’re sadden by Dave Chappell’s character’s death, cause Dave Chappell is the shit, you love the guy, but it’s also really funny what happens with his body.

While you watch the movie, as you comment on how Cyrus the Virus (that’s a fucking cliché, stupid name) seems to behave like a thirteen-year-old goth boy who just learned how to make his own blog, John bumps your arm, making you spill soda on both you and him. “Ah… oh shit, sorry Dave!” He exclaims and gets up, taking your hand.

“Jake, pause the movie, I’m gonna get us cleaned up.” John says to Jake as he pulls you out of the living room. You hear the dialogue of the movie go quiet as you are suddenly dragged off down the hall and into John’s room.

You’re a bit stunned, cause what the fuck? Okay, yeah, you have ice cold soda on your favorite red hoodie, but you’ll live, shit washes out. But John is digging through his closet now to find you and himself something fresh to wear. “John, it’s not necessary, I can just…” He stops you and says that he probably has something you can wear for the night. You can just go to your apartment, but John is already pulling off his shirt and hello~! Look at that body!

John’s of a rather thick build, but you know he’s muscular, just look at those hammer arms! God DAMN! You look away, distracting yourself with the shit in his room instead. You notice that John’s bed is made, unlike your own, and he’s got movie posters on his walls. There are posters for shitty B-movies, and he’s got a Problem Sleuth poster too, nice. You’re more of a fan of the Midnight Crew comic yourself, but you do like PS too.

He’s got some cut out pictures of celebrities on the wall behind his desk, where his laptop is sitting. He has little doodles on sticky notes stuck to the wall and a small map of the world’s oceans.

You also spot a few framed photos, almost all of them have John in them, often with him and friends. There are a few with a guy with a hat on and/or pipe in his mouth, he looks a lot like John.

Suddenly a shirt is thrown at your face, distracting you for a moment. “Here, this might fit you.” John smiles at you as he straightens out his new shirt, it’s the ghostbusters shirt you saw him wearing forever ago.

You look at the shirt he tossed at you, it’s blue with a weird, lighter blue squiggly thing on it. You glance back up at him, John’s looking at you as if he’s waiting for you to change. Well… you might as well do it now or it will never happen. You set the shirt aside and remove your hoodie, standing in front of John with a tank top on.

John’s looking at you, blinking a few times. “Dave?”

“Yes?”

“You have boobs.”

“Yes I do, lots of people have boobies, you have them too.”

“No, I mean… these are, uh… girly? I guess?” He looks unsure and you feel very self-conscious right now, and you want to just lay down and die.

John shifts on his feet. “Are you trans?”

Well, at least he knows what that is. “Yeah, is that a problem?” You want to throw up, you’re so scared right now, you’re shaking, you feel tense, you want to cry, you need to talk to Jade or Dirk right now…

“No! I honestly had no idea!” He says, waving his hands a little. “Heh, I had a friend in Washington who came out to me as trans in high school, he sorta made a big deal out of it, like, he thought that I would hate him or make fun of him cause I always poked fun of his easy-to-set-off anger! Oh man, Karkat yelled at me for an hour about how easily I took it after he had panicked for days beforehand! But I told him it was cool, and that I figured something was up cause, well, he didn’t have one of those… uhh… the chest things?”

“Binder.”

“Yeah, that! He always just wore super baggy clothes and sports bras! But dude, if you’re trans, that’s cool, you’re still Dave to me.” He’s smiling so casually and you still feel sick, but you also feel better.

You shift a little, biting your lip. “Shit man, you being so cool with this is freaking me out. I expected an ‘eww!’ or ‘what the fuck’ but it doesn’t appear to be the case.” You then put on the shirt, it’s huge on you, but it’s nice.

He laughs a little, taking your wet hoodie and his shirt. “Dave, it’s cool, don’t worry! I have no problem with how you identify yourself at all.” He smiles again and you feel your cheeks burn like a fucking forgotten pot roast that a white wine house wife didn’t remember putting in earlier that morning. Well shit, Barbara, you shouldn’t have had that fourth glass!

He pats you on the back and ushers you out of the room as he goes to through your hoodie in the wash. You step out into the living room and the others look at you. “No binder?” Jade asks quietly. You shake your head. “Does John…” You nod. “And he’s cool with this?” You nod again.

Jade smiles and gives you a thumbs up.

You feel like passing out still.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so basically John being cool with Dave being trans is because, well, John’s really casual about things? Unless if someone seems upset about something, he he’s overly dramatic (he overreacted about Davesprite and Jade’s break up, but seemed cooled about Rose and Kanaya being a thing). Dave's reactions are basically how I feel about anything like this, haha.
> 
> Movie night continues next chapter, with John’s POV on what just happened and the rest of the evening. 
> 
> By the way, if you’ve never watched Con Air, I suggest that you do. It’s super corny, but it’s a perfect 90’s action film. And Cyrus the Virus really does act like a thirteen-year-old goth boy with a blog, just listen to his dialogue, it’s hilarious.
> 
> EDIT: My beta reader needs to be fired, he didn't point out all my grammar errors in this chapter.


	9. “I love the taste of a fruit that can literally eat away my tongue.”

“I’m telling you John,” Dave states, “Cyrus the Virus is such a lame ass villain name, but, for whatever reason, it’s perfect for this movie!”

You scoff at him. “Well no shit, because this movie is practically flawless! Well, outside of a few things, but those are overshadowed by the amazing shit!”

“You are such a nark, I mean, listen to this guy’s dialogue! He sounds like some thirteen-year-old boy who just got into the goth phase, don’t give me that look Rose, and just made himself a blog. I bet if Cyrus had a blog, it would have the title ‘Welcome to my twisted mind’ written in red on a black background! But that’s just my opinion on the guy.”

“Opinion noted.” You roll your eyes and shift in your seat just as Dave adjusts himself, resulting in you making contact at the elbows and him spilling his cup of soda on you both.

Oh shit! You didn’t mean to do that! You get up and quickly tell Jake to pause the movie while you drag Dave to your room. Damnit, way to fuck up a blooming friendship! He’s probably gonna be mad at you. That’s such a nice hoodie too, looks all clean and stuff, probably just washed it to. You’re such a klutz, uhg.

Dave tries to reason with you, but you tell him no. “It’s fine, man! I’ve got something you can wear tonight, it’s cool!” You say, trying to sound like you are cucumber boy, as in, ‘cool as a’. He seems to give in as you dig in your closet for a shirt he can fit.

You and Dave are clearly of different body types, so all your shirts will be big on him. You’re on the bigger size, both in the height and width department, but you got that from genetics, that, and you use to do weight lifting in high school. Funny, because you have a muscular build but you also have the fingers of a master pianist.

You slip off your shirt and grab your ghostbusters shirt, flipping that on over your head before digging around again. Glancing out of the corner of your eye, you can see that Dave is occupied with looking at the shit on your walls. Heh, he doesn’t seem to notice, but his poker face is gone, he’s showing expressions.

This is ruined when you throw a shirt at him. You made this shirt in high school with your friends, they made shirts with zodiac signs on them. However, you wanted to be different, so you made a shirt with a blue windy thing on it, cause you use to doodle it all the time on your notes.

Dave is caught off-guard by the sudden shirt and he looks at you. “Here, this might fit you.” You smile at him as you adjust your own shirt.

He stares at the shirt a bit, looking so unsure. Before you can say that you can find another shirt for him, you watch him toss the shirt aside to remove his hoodie.

Well… uhh… Dave has the hoodie off, and he’s got on a black tank top under, one that is form fitting. You thought Dave was on the scrawny side, but it looks like he’s got baby fat on him still, then again, you should have noted that when looking at his soft face. His left shoulder has a big red gear on it, like the one on his hoodie, that has smaller, red and black gears going down his arm to about halfway down his forearm.

But that’s not what really catches your attention, oh no, it’s what he’s sporting on his chest.

Dave… he’s got… boobs. Tiny, probably A-cup sized boobs, but they were there. And no bra.

“Dave?” You ask, catching his attention.

“Yes?” He replies, he sounds so quiet, it’s weird.

“You have boobs.” Way to be discreet, John.

“Yes I do, lots of people have boobies, you have them too.” He snaps, but he’s not bitter, just embarrassed. Guess he just revealed a part of himself he probably didn’t want you knowing about just yet.

You shake your head. “No, I mean… these are, uh… girly? I guess?” You don’t know how to talk, do you? Oh God, you can see that he’s clearly uncomfortable, that he looks about ready to jump out the window or something! You shift a little before you ask if he’s trans.

“Yeah, is that a problem?” He’s so defensive! You’re fucking up your friendship cause you’re an idiot and he’s embarrassed as all get out!

You quickly explain to him about Karkat, one of your best friends from high school. Karkat is trans, and you had suspicions about this. But then again, and you don’t mention this to Dave, you sorta thought he had breasts cause Karkat is on the chubby side. He seems to relax a little when you tell him you’re cool with that, that no matter what, he’s still Dave to you!

You take his hoodie as he goes to the living room and you go to do the laundry really quick. As you stand in front of the washer in your hallway closet, you can’t help the burn of your cheeks at the fact that… well… Dave kinda looks good.

Well, in a ‘hey! I have attractive friends!’ kinda way!

L-Like how you find Rose to be downright gorgeous, and Jade is so adorable, even if she looks like she can snap your spine in half over her knee. That sort of way!

Dave has a nice body, he’s petite (as if you’ll ever call him that to his face, he looks like the kinda guy who hates having his height addressed), with a slim body. The baby fat makes him look cute, a bit on the soft, healthy side. The tattoo is pretty awesome looking too, you’ve seen it a few times, but you didn’t know it went all the way up like that. You wonder if he has more.

And… well, he’s got a small chest, but it’s nice? He probably doesn’t think so, you know Karkat hated his chest and he’s recently gotten surgery for that.

But still! Dave looks good, amazing! Dave’s really nice looking, still in the ‘my friends are hot’ kind of way!

You quickly spray the clothes before throwing them in the wash, returning to the living room. There is a shit-eating smirk on Dirk and Rose’s lips, but Jake and Jade seem to be ignoring this, since they’re chatting with one another. Dave makes eye contact with you from behind his stupid, pointy shades and you’re both blushing. You give him a thumbs up and he returns it before you sit down, starting the movie up again.

After Con Air finishes, you put in the next movie, the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff one (you still can’t believe that Dave is the co-creator! That does explain his drawing style though, you just assumed he was a fan). “Hey, I’m gonna order a pizza, what do you guys want?” Dave asks, pulling out his phone.

“Cheese for me!” Jade says happily, if you’re correct, she’s somewhat of a vegetarian. Like, she eats some meats, but not beef and most pork products.

“I’m a meat lovers kinda guy, so I’ll have that!” Jake announces and Dirk chuckles, saying a comment of ‘you sure are’, earning him a throw pillow to the chest from his boyfriend.

“I’m good with cheese.” Rose said. “Dave, what about you?”

“I’m gonna get all up in either one, I’m not that picky. No olives or anchovies though, those are sins to the pizza world.”

You snort loudly. “What about pineapple?”

“I love the taste of a fruit that can literally eat away my tongue.” He says sarcastically. “Whatcha want, John?”

You give a little shrug. “I’d say pepperoni, but I’m all for meat lovers too.”

He nods, getting up to make the order in the kitchen. You hear him quietly talking as you offer to get everyone a drink. You are the host after all, might as well be nice. Rose asks for a glass of water and Dirk asks if you can make coffee. “Who has coffee with pizza?” You ask, looking at him funny.

“I have terrible tastes.” He replies simply. “Well, in the food department, everything else I’m fantastic with.”

You roll your eyes and head into the kitchen. Dave’s done with the call already, and he’s looking at something on your fridge with a smirk.

“Dude, is this a goals list?”

Your cheeks are red hot once more and you try to snatch it from the fridge, except Dave got it before you. “Oh my God, this is so cute, you have a check list, I love it.” He moves away from you when you reach to grab it.

He snatches a pen you left on the counter, looking over the list. “Hmm, ‘make friends with the neighbors’… check!” He makes a mark on the paper. “’Make friends’, totally a check there!” He does it again.

“Heh, you want to find a girlfriend? I wish you luck.” He lowers his shades to wink at you, you’re gonna pop a blood vessel from how much you’re blushing. “Ooh, ‘get hobbies that others will join you in’, I think this gets a check cause of tonight!” He makes another check.

“Daaaaaavvveee!!!” You whine, snatching the list from him. “That’s private!”

“Not really, it was on the fridge.” He chuckles, leaning against the counter. “I think it’s really cute that you have plans for being here.”

You give him a look and put the list back on the fridge. “No one likes a nosey asshole, Strider.”

“I’d beg a differ.” He winks as he walks past you. You roll your eyes and go back to being a good host by getting people their drinks.

\--

“I dunno man,” You hear Dave mumble next to you as he bites into his slice of pizza, “if Betty Crocker really is as evil as you believe her to be, then what exactly is the evidence behind this?”

“Dave, come on! Crocker Corp owns, like, practically most major food companies and stuff! She is a tyrannical dictator!” You reply, waving your hands about. This conversation has been going on for ten minutes now after Jade asked you if your cookies were homemade and Dave joked that they came from a bag mix with a red spoon on it.

You have this weird hatred for Betty Crocker, ever since you were a kid. You always thought that Gushers, which you loved, were actually made of dead aliens and that Crocker herself is evil. Your cousin, Jane, who is heiress to the company (your nanna ditched the company and so your great-grandma left it to your great uncle), thinks you’re nuts.

Dirk sips a bit of his coffee as he looks at you two. “What if she’s actually a millenniums-year-old alien sea Hitler from another universe?” He asks, looking at you over his shades.

“You know what, that would make a hell of a lot of sense!” You announce and Dave slaps his forehead.

“You sound like Dane! He goes off on this bullshit too, hell, he even puts in anti-Crocker shit in his movies! You don’t always notice them, but it’s subliminal.” He tells you, looking annoyed. “I bet the two of you would just have a fucking field day with this shit. Did you know he was obsessed with Con Air for a while? That’s the only reason I knew about the movie, for some reason he really liked it.”

You gasp a little. “If I ever meet him, I’ll have to ask him about the movie, that is so cool!”

“Now look what you did, Dave, you got his hopes up.” Dirk snorts and Dave tells him to shut up.

The six of you continued to talk while you watched movies and ate food, Dave even has his camera with him and he starts taking pictures. Some of them are posed, others are caught when people weren’t paying attention. Dave got a few pictures of you and him in them, making faces at the camera like all those stereotypical selfie images you see on TV and as memes online. Dave even got a picture with you licking his cheek and he squealed.

There are a couple of pictures that Dave took of Dirk and Jake pretending to do sloppy make outs and a few where you and Jade are being huge dorks with pieces of left over pizza toppings stuck to yours faces. He got a few shots of Rose making face, even one where she has her finger up her nose.

At one point, you bring out your laptop and get on a skype call with your cousin-practically-sister Jane, and her college roommate Roxy. Rose laughs because that’s her cousin and Roxy’s shocked to see you apparently because she had no idea you were friends with Rose. Apparently you are the infamous John that Dave talks about.

“Why does everyone seem to know everyone?” You asked and Dirk replies that you and Dave have a whole ‘six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing going on’. Which, technically is true in the literal sense because you know Dave, who has a brother who works in Hollywood, who had made an attempt to pants Kevin Bacon at a party.

You talk with Jane and Roxy for a bit before signing off since they are an hour ahead of you and they need to sleep. The six of you decide to keep staying up, watching movies.

Rose’s movie plays and though you are not the biggest fan of found footage films, you think they are too focused on jump scares, Dave is buried into your side, hiding his face at certain parts. You can hear him cursing Rose’s name and she’s laughing at this. You also notice that Jade is scared too, hiding close to Rose and whispering if scenes are over yet.  
  
Jake flat out jumps over the couch during the first jump scare and he spends much of the movie covering his face. You, Dirk, and Rose are the only ones’ brave enough to watch the movie without being scared.

… Okay, you jumped at the end during the basement scene, but that’s it!

Dirk and Jake decide to let Jade watch Guardians of the Galaxy cause during the Blair Witch, you and her got into a conversation about Chris Pratt’s role in the movie and how he always seems to play the part of adorable asshole in movies like this.

Half-way through the awesome film, you ended up dozing off. When you woke up, the glow-in-the-dark clock on your living room wall said it was four in the morning. Rose and Jade were gone, same with Dirk and Jake. The living room was sort of straightened up, the TV was off, and there was a weight against your side.

You promptly passed out again and didn’t wake up until about seven, when the weight against you shifted.

Opening your eyes and rubbing at your mouth, ew, you drooled, you blearily watched a figure in a blue shirt get up and stretch. “Where the fuck… oh, right, John’s place…” You hear Dave say as you fix your glasses. He’s looking down at you, his shades are off.

Huh, he really does have red eyes, that’s pretty cool. “Mornin’ sunshine.” You smile at him and he ruffles up your hair with a snort.

“Mornin’ Eggbutt, guess they ditched us last night.”

“Looks like it, when did you fall asleep?”

“Uhh… fuck, when they were at the place where the dude from The Wolfman was tellin’ ‘em about the stones or somethin’. You were out during the prison scene.”

You chuckle and get up. “Yeah, well, I have the movie, I can just watch it later. Want some breakfast? My treat! We can go to Denny’s!”

Dave lets out a dramatic gasp, stumbling back, you know he’s faking shock. “John Egbert, I didn’t know you were the kinda guy who offers breakfast after sleeping with someone! How romantic!”

“Hahaha, shut the fuck up, dude! Go to your place and get dressed, we’ll leave soon!”

Dave nods, thanks you for the awesome night, cracks another sex joke, and leaves. You get into the shower and wash up really quick before getting dressed. You hear a buzz from your phone and spot a text message from an unknown number.

‘So listen, last night I found your phone and plugged it in for you, but I also stole your number. This is Dirk, by the way.’

‘oh thanks dirk! you didn’t have to!’

‘No, I did, so I could tell you this.’ Wow, he texts fast. ‘If you insult my lil’ bro or do something to expose his big secret in anyway, I will personally come to your house and gut you like a fucking fish.’

You blink and pale, you weirdly feel that, yes, Dirk would slice you open like a fish… ‘i would never hurt dave that way! he’s my friend! i can be a bit of an ass but i would never do that to him!’

‘Good, cause I know where you live now. I am protective of Dave, he’s had it rough, not easy being a trans kid in the south. But yes, I will kill you, we clear?’

‘clear as crystal pepsi!’

‘Good.’

You stare at the screen, swallow the lump in your throat, and pocket your phone. Well, that was fucking scary. A knock at your front door spooks you and you rush over to it, peeking through the peephole. It’s just Dave, not his brother… haha, wow, you’re gonna be jumpy as fuck today.

You open the door, letting Dave in while you get your shoes and coat on. Once you’re ready, you take him to the elevator and down to the garage you go. “Do you have a car?” You ask him as you walk to yours, luckily you cleaned it out the other day.

“No, I mean, I can drive, but I usually just walk everywhere or I take the bus. Saves me money and I don’t have to worry about car stuff.” Dave replies as he approaches the car, getting in when you unlock it. “Smells in here.” He comments aloud.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it’s an air freshener I bought the other day, haha. Didn’t want my car smelling of stale fries anymore. It’s cherry!”

“I like cherry.” Dave comments, looking around your car from the passenger seat. You get in and pull out of the parking garage, driving to Denny’s. Dave has to tell you where to go since you’re still new to the city and he knows it like the back of his hand.

While you drive, he fiddles with your radio, surprised that you have XM. You laugh and tell him to listen to whatever he wants, which he does. He quickly finds the classic hip-hop station and starts mouthing the words to an old Fresh Prince song. You only know of it cause Karkat LOOOOOVVVEESSSS Will Smith, holy shit, you think that Karkat actually had a crush on the guy, considering that he owns a copy of every movie he’s been in.

Though, you do admit, Karkat always knew which Will Smith movies to pick out when you came over, cause to be honest, you are always up for a Men in Black marathon with him. (The two of you once dressed up in black suits and shades, pretending to be the Washington division of Agents K and J for Halloween. It was awesome.)

You tell this to Dave and he laughs, he actually finds this funny. “Please tell me there are pictures, I have to see this!”

“Hell yeah there are! I think I have them up on my Tumblr, I’ll send you a link later or something.”

“Fucking sweet.”

Eventually you find the restaurant and park, Dave getting out first and you follow him in. The waiter gets you a booth and menus.

Looking over your options, you try to figure out what sounds best. “I’m going for pancakes.” You hear Dave say, he even says that pancakes are the greatest shit. You tell him he hasn’t lived until he tried Jane’s. They were always perfect and fluffy, and sometimes she’d put maple syrup inside of them so when you bit into a piece, you’d get a burst of syrup.

You snort when you notice Dave looking like he was drooling at the mere idea. You decide to get the Grand Slam and a glass of milk, Dave gets pancakes with some side orders, along with a big glass of apple juice.

As you wait for your meal, Dave toys with the draw strings of his hoodie, you notice he’s flat. “So...” He starts, drawing your attention to his face. “Jade told me that the campus is doing a big Halloween party soon, you going to it?”

“Huh? Uhh… yeah!” You remember getting an e-mail about it, it was a big campus party and it was a costumed event. You had to pay for it in advance though, to get the bands you had to wear to show that, hey, you were totally an attendant for the party. “What about it, you wanna go?”

“I wouldn’t mind, sounds like it could be fun.” He shrugs, sipping his apple juice. “Jade wanted me to go last year but I chickened out by having a really nasty cold.”

“Ah, well, maybe this year you can go!” You smile, that could be fun. You’ve never been to a Halloween party before and it might be super fun to go with friends! Now, you just have to think of a good costume for it.

The two of you talk for a little bit, chatting about last night and Dave shows you the photos he took on his phone. You laugh at one of the pictures, the one of you licking his face, and he decides to make that his phone background photo. Rose picking her nose is his lock screen picture.

Once you get your food, you quietly eat before deciding to be a bit of a jerk and steal from his plate. He fights back and you almost get kicked out for being loud. You and Dave don’t even finish eating, you decide to just get to-go boxes cause you can just eat it later, breakfast for dinner is always better than breakfast for breakfast.

After finishing up and paying, you take him to Coldstone’s cause the two of you had gotten into a conversation about if ice cream is a breakfast food or not, and now you’re both craving it. You get a scoop of coffee ice cream with mix-ins, Dave gets a straight up cotton candy milkshake. You tell him he’s gross, he tells you that you need to get a sweet tooth.

You sit inside so you can eat your treat, mostly because you don’t want to drive right now and he sips his overly sweet shake. “You know Dave; I’d love to come with you to meet the birds.”

He pauses and looks up at you over his shades. Huh, he’s got really pale eyelashes, that’s really cool. Kinda weird that he’s got dark eyebrows though, especially for an albino guy. “You know that means we have to do this after we finish here, right? Cause I’m sorta late on meeting them and they get a bit pissy at me when that happens.”

You watch him tap at his left ear, there’s a little nick there you never noticed before. “I woke up late and didn’t bother getting up for a while, one of them nipped me when I came by finally. The other birds protected me, but they were still sour until I gave them sunflower seeds.”

You can’t help the little chuckle you let out. “Your friends sound like fun; I’d love to meet them again.”

“Cool, then you’re gonna have to take me to the park after this.”        

You nod, you like hanging out with Dave, and to be honest, you mostly want to see the birds so you can keep spending the day with him.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is gonna blend into the next one, so right now chapters eight, nine, and ten are all sort of one after the other in the same time span.


	10. The Mayor is Dave's best, best, best, best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the lack of updates but I’ve had so many damn problems with this chapter. Plus, I started it when finals began and then I went home for the summer, got a job working at a restaurant, yada-yada-yada life is a bitch, but I’ll try to work on this story more soon.

Your name is Dove Elizabeth Strider and you are six.

You are in kindergarten and you learned how to add to twenty today, you also learned where Canada was on a map. But this is not interesting to you, no, what is interesting is the thing you found outside during lunch.

There, out in the soccer field, past the playground and the basketball court, is a dead bird.

A crow, you’d find this out later after asking to use Bro’s computer to look it up when you got home, is just lying in the grass, dead as the elevator at your apartment. You came out here to eat lunch away from everyone else. There’s a kid in the first grade who pulls on your hair every lunch period. You snuck out and came out here to eat, only to find the bird on the ground.

Sitting down, you study it without touching it, before eating the apple jelly sandwich Dane made for you. You talk with the bird quietly, telling it that you are only out here because Jeremy is a dick and thinks your long hair is stupid. You only grew it out because you want to be Sailor Moon for Halloween this year; last year you were a Power Ranger.

The bird doesn’t reply, it just continues to lay there, dead as the teeth in the mouth of the creepy guy by the dirty laundry mat that Bro always tells you to avoid. You finish the sandwich and the oreos, then your juice box. You look at the crow, it’s not very big, probably still really young, and you carefully pick it up.

“Eww! Dove’s playing with a dead thing!”

Ah doody balls! Someone spotted you, guess it’s recess time now, you finally notice the sound of children in the air. You turn, seeing a fat kid from your class, you think her name is Pam or something, you don’t know. You don’t talk to anyone in class so your classmates’ names escape you. She’s pointing at you and a recess monitor comes over.

“Young lady,” you hate being called a lady, it makes you sound like you work in an office building and wear smelly perfume, “put that bird down and go wash your hands, you don’t know where it’s been!”

You shake your head. “No, I want it, it’s my friend.”

“Little girl.” Oh, now she’s bringing out that to sound sweet, uhg, she’s even smiling but it’s strained. “Dead things are not your friends, you drop that and go get cleaned up, then go play with the other kids.”

You glare at her from behind your shades, you need them when you’re outside, the school knows this, you know this woman probably hates that you’re wearing them while being in a cute, pink Hello Kitty dress. She grabs your arm and you tense up, dropping the bird. You hate being touched, you hate it, hate it, hate it!

She’s dragging you off to the school and you glance back, you left your lunch box there too, you need it and the bird. Just as the recess monitor gets to the doors, there’s a loud scream and two kids are fighting. She sighs and let’s go of you, telling you to stay put as she goes to see what’s going on.

You don’t stay put, you run back to the soccer field. You see your red lunch box, covered in doodles by you and Dirk, and the bird is still there with your trash. You look back, everyone is distracted with the fight. Perfect, you think as you open the lunch box and shove the crow into the zip lock bag your sandwich had been in. It sorta fits and you use the other one from your cookies to cover the rest of the bird. You place it into the lunch box and close it, running back to the school and going inside.

Once in, you go to your classroom and put your lunchbox in its cubby and go to wash up. On the bus ride home, you show Dirk the bird. You guys find an old spaghetti sauce jar, still intact with a lid, by the dumpster next to your apartment and you put the bird in it.

The two of you show Dane and he takes the jar, coming back from high school the next day with it full of a liquid that he says will preserve the bird for you. You happily put the bird on your bookshelf, next to the trilobite fossil Bro got you a few months ago.

More dead things would come to follow these two.

\--

“I’m sorry, Dave.” You feel John pat your shoulder as you look at the dead, aged crow on the ground at the park.

You shrug and bend down, looking at the bird, she was an old lady, you called her Mitsi. Guess it was her time. Davesprite showed you her when you arrived to the park with John just moments ago, the big lug wanted to join you when you went to greet the birds. You weren’t exactly expecting to find a dead one, but… “These things happen.” You frown and look at her before digging into your bag, pulling out some napkins.

“Uhh… what are you doing?” John asks as you carefully pick her up by her feet with the napkins and start to walk.

“I’m gonna leave her to the elements and come back to collect her bones, I don’t have crow bones.” You explain, walking along to where you know you’ll be able to keep her body safe from kids and asshole people. You go deeper into the parking, coming up to where the wall surrounding it was. There lots of bushes here and you carefully placed her in them against the wall, she’d be safe here.

Turning, you see that John followed. “Is that the right thing to do?” He asks you quietly.

“Yeah, cause if not, her body will be vandalized by dickwad people, or she’ll be thrown into the trash. I want her to die like an animal should, with dignity and as food for the bugs and the creepy crawlies. It’s only right. Wanna get a coffee?”

He nods, walking with you as you dig into your bag again, finding your mini bottle of sanitizer, putting some on your hands. “Do you do this often?”

You shake your head. “Not with crows, no, but I’ve done it with other animals. I like to collect dead things, John. You know this. I have a whole shelf covered in things.”

“I know, but, uh… why do you collect them?”

“I dunno, I love fossils, and just… I guess looking at bones and preserved dead things helps with my anxiety towards the whole thing? You know, like a weird, macabre coping mechanism.” You try to explain. Death makes you nervous, your mom died when you were a baby, your dad when you were two. Mom from a throat sickness, Dad got shot at a convenience store when a robbery went wrong, Bro’s raised you ever since.

You also seen your friendly neighbor from when you were five pass away. You saw them wheel her out of her apartment on a gurney when you were five, just coming home from pre-school. Dean had to cover your eyes when her hand slipped out from under the sheets, only the day before she had made you a cookie shaped like a star.

As a child, you had a few close calls with it too. You almost got hit by a car when you were three, you got a nasty concussion when you were eight when you were pushed off the water slide at the public pool, got a MRSA infection in your left leg when you were in the tenth grade, almost got your throat slashed open in a shop class accident, you are extra careful around things now.

You hate death, but it fascinates you because it’s something that happens to everyone and one day it will finally happen to you. So you decide to study the dead things you collect, it calms you.

“Maybe you should be a coroner or something.” John says when you explain this to him.

Shaking your head, you exit the park with him. “Nah, I can’t do that, I don’t wanna cut up someone’s family member. I’d rather just take pictures, or, ya know, dig up bones.”

“Hm… yeah, plus it’s probably gotta be really gross sometimes.”

“Dude, you ever watch crime shows? A lot of their cases are based on real ones so a lot of those deaths did happen in real life. Like this one episode of CSI, where they found a gym bag with a body in it, and when they opened it up, it was practically a human soup!”

John made a face, shaking his head. “Ew, dog! Ew!” He laughed. “So nasty, gross dude!”

“Shut the fuck up.” You smirk, lightly punching him in the arm. “Okay, let’s get to the coffee place, I need to wash my hands more.”

The five-minute walk in silent as you both get to the little shop, it’s actually a book shop and café, really nice. Downstairs is the café, with a piano against a wall, and lots of old pastel décor on the walls. Upstairs in the bookstore, there’s a few tables in the downstairs and upstairs parts for chess. The place is called the King and Queen’s Bookstore Café, really nice place, you come here with Rose sometimes.

You look over at the counter and perk up at the sight of your favorite employee. “Mayor!” You cheerfully greet, approaching the counter. The bald, dark skinned man behind the counter with the faded gray-brown apron smiled brightly at you. His name is Wayne Vagabond, and he is your best bro in the whole world. You love him, he is the best.

He was your neighbor back when you lived with your brothers and he was an architect (who works at this café with his friend Pam), wanting to build something called Can Town. He also continuously runs for mayor whenever elections open, this is why you call him The Mayor, you support his dreams.

He is the best, you love this man.

Wayne is happy to see you and he hugs you over the counter. “Good morning, David!” He’s the only person you allow to call you that. “It appears you brought a friend.” He says, looking over at John who doesn’t seem to be paying attention to you two. “Boy, you there, boy!” He calls out, catching John’s attention now.

“Who, me?” You slap your forehead at John’s reply.

“Yes you, are you here with David?” Wayne asks, raising an eyebrow.

John blinks and laughs. “Yeah! I’m John, I’m his friend. Are you a friend of his?”

“John,” You start, “this is Wayne, AKA The Mayor, the coolest dude I’ve ever known and future mayor of Houston.” You inform him, hearing Wayne chuckle a little behind you. “He is my best, best, best, best friend.”

“David, you think too highly of me, but thank you anyway.” Wayne smiled. “Now, can I take your order?”

“White chocolate mocha, Grande, and what do you want John?”

John walks up to the counter and looks at the options. “Uh… I guess I’ll try that blue jay mocha thing?”

“Excellent, I’ll have those right out for you.” The smaller man said, taking your orders before you paid for it. After that, you and John took a seat in the back of the café, near the piano.

“Your friend seems nice; does he really try to run for mayor?” John asks as he glances around the store from where he’s sitting.

You nod, explaining that Wayne finds the current system of government in the city isn’t doing as well as it should, especially because he does not like the current mayor. He says the guy runs it like a kingdom. John just looks at you funny and he slowly nods, jerk, doesn’t understand the dreams of your friend. You hear said friend call out your name and you get up, grabbing the drinks from the counter before going back to your seat.

You quietly talk as you enjoy your drinks, a few other people coming in to get coffee or go up to the bookshop. John talks about some stuff in school and you talk to him about a recent photoshoot you had to do for someone’s anniversary gift. Apparently someone noticed that you are open to doing boudoir photography; this guy thought it was the perfect gift for his wife. John thought it was funny when you told him how the guy tried to look sexy with a curtain from one of your photo sets and he got tangled it in, falling down.

“Don’t worry, the guy is fine, just had a bruise on his ego and elbow.” You chuckle and sip your drink.

“Oh I’m sure.” John nodded before glancing at the piano. “Does that work?”

“Yeah, sometimes people come in and play it, but most of the time it’s kept off-limits cause kids like to smash the keys.”

“Oh, do you think I could…” He trails off and you shrug, telling him to go for it. John looks excited and he gets up, lifting up the lid over the keys and he sat down. He cracks his knuckles, probably for effect, before he starts to play.

You’re… actually really surprised by how easily he’s playing, he’s good. You think John mentioned it to you, that night of the art show, that he plays the piano. You didn’t give it much thought at the time, but this sounds really nice, John is very talented. You don’t recognize the tune, did he make it up on the spot? Or is it an original piece? The Mayor doesn’t seem to have a problem with John playing, so you tell John to keep going after he finishes the first song.

John grins at you and starts up another song. “The X-Files theme? Really?” You chuckle and he laughs, moving on to another song. You recognize it at ‘Fly Me to the Moon’, then you hear him play some songs from movies. He finishes with another song you don’t know; it sounds like it would relate to clowns or something. Once john finishes, he closes the lid and approaches you, sitting back down.

You clap and he blushes, thanking you. “You’re really good, but what was the first and the last song?” You ask as he drinks from his cup.

“Oh, original pieces! The first one is ‘Showtime’, a song I wrote for a recital in middle school. And the other one is ‘Harlequin’, I wrote that one to spite my dad and his weird interest in those stupid, fancy clowns.” John explains before he pauses, watching you reach out and take his hand. “Dave?”

You examine his fingers, oh yeah, these are totally musical fingers, long piano fingers and the like. Seems very odd for a guy of his size and build, but you like it. He looks like he could bend a frying pan with ease, but still delicately handle pouring chemicals with a steady hand. You tell him this and he laughs, blushing lightly as you continues to hold his hand.

It’s kinda weird, yeah, but you have this weird thing for touch, but you hate being touched yourself. You also like comparisons and such. John’s hand is bigger than yours, softer too. You bet he puts on lotion before bed. He doesn’t have scars, his skin is darker than yours, and you really want to keep holding his hand.

“Dave, you’re just staring.” John speaks quietly, unsure of what else to say.

“You’re gonna have to let me paint your fingernails at some point.” You finally say and he laughs loudly. You let go of his hand and he takes it back. “What? I think it would be cool, and not in some bullshit hipster way, I’ve got a great shade of blue that would look good on you.”

“Dave, why do you paint your nails?” He says through giggles. “Seems a little gay, yeah?”

You roll your eyes. “I like how it looks, plus it confuses the people and Roxy got me started on it as a kid. But anyway, you have nice hands, real pianist fingers. No wonder you were playing that thing like you owned its ass.”

He laughs more and shakes his head. “I’m not that great. Do you still want to do a collaboration together in the music department?”

“I would like that.”

\--

When you get home, you say good bye to Dave, heading into your apartment to go clean up the mess from movie night. After all of that is taken care of, you flop down onto your bed and grab your laptop to waste time on the internet. Opening up tumblr, you scroll through your dash, only to notice a picture of you and Dave. There are other pictures to, all in the same post, of the events from last night. The post was uploaded by turntechgodhead and in the caption it read:

_spent movie night with my family friends and my new bro @ghostlytrickster_

_bet you had no idea this was me behind this account did ya_

“DAVE!”

You hear very loud, muffled laugh from the other side of the wall.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a POV change at the end because I honestly thought the idea was funny.
> 
> Also, the thing with Dave describing John’s hands is due to my need for exam things in detail to give me a better understanding of things, Dave and I… share a lot of things in common in this story, haha. *vents personality traits on favorite character like most other fanfic authors* 
> 
> I am open to ideas and suggestions, you can sent them to me here or on my tumblr at trashboatprince.


	11. "Of course, since it’s Halloween, Ghostbuster t-shirt is a must!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhg, this took forever! I’m sorry for the delays, school and life and writer’s block are terrible.
> 
> I honestly have no idea what to write for the next chapter, at all. I'm open for suggestions, please.
> 
> Also, happy Halloween, luckily I got a kick in the pants to get this chapter done for today!

Halloween snuck up on you pretty quickly, which is odd, since it’s your favorite holiday! It’s a prankster’s delight, and you’re a sucker for costumes and free candy, even at your age.

Luckily though, you had brought your bad ass Ghostbusters costume you wore to Emerald City Comic Con two years ago with you, so you’re prepared. Earlier this month, you bought yourself and Dave the passes to get into the big campus celebration, and Dave told you his costume would be a surprise.

Jade and Rose are going to attend, and they won’t tell you what their costumes are either. They invited Jake and Dirk with them, all you know about their costumes are that they are from a movie. You are super excited to see what they are going to wear.

Today is Halloween and you are getting ready for the big night. You got today off, there was no class, and you’ve spent all day watching Halloween-themed movies. Tonight, you’re going to the party and then you’re going back home to watch shitty horror movies with Dave, Jade, and Rose! Tonight is gonna be the best!

Just as you are adjusting the goggles on your head, you hear a knock at the door. Rushing over, you threw it open, and looked down at… a weird, rubber crow mask in pointy anime shades?

“S’up.”

“Hi Dave.” You grin at him, taking in his costume. He has on the crow mask, probably from the same people who make those creepy horse masks, and a pair of black wings on his back. He’s in an orange shirt and black pants, along with the ugliest day-glo orange shoes you’ve ever seen. You have a feeling he took those from Dirk. He was also holding a cheap, plastic katana, and wore fingerless gloves. “What are you suppose to be?”

“To be honest? I have no fuckin’ clue, I just thought it would be cool. You’re a Ghostbuster, apparently.” He says as he removes the mask, shaking his head a little. He’s not wearing those dumb shades, or even his other pair, under it.

You nod, proud as you tap the name tag on the jump suit, it’s your last name! You had this specially commissioned from Kanaya. She hated you for having her make this for you. “Ta-da! What do you think? Pretty awesome, right?”

Dave snorts, tossing his head back and making the mask wiggle. “Yeah, sure, do you have the pack for it to?” He asks as he removes the mask, his face a bit red, it must be hot wearing that thing.

Pointing to the couch, you proudly display your pack. It really lights up too! You bring him over to the couch and turn it on, getting a quirked eyebrow in exchange. “Me and my dad spent a month building it! I went to ECCC in it and it was awesome.”

“You’ve been to cons before?” He asks, looking confused and then he lightly snorts. “No, wait, dumb question, you look like that kind of nerd.”

“Hey!” You huff. “You and I both know I look damn good in this jump suit!”

“No one ever said you didn’t,” Dave smirks, looking amused, “I just said you’re the kind of nerd who goes to cons.”

“Jade told me that you and her met in real life at a convention, so you have no room to talk.” You say at you poke him on the nose. “So anyway, let’s get going! Jade told me she has a totally amazing costume for tonight! Like, I’ll totally be surprised when I see it!”

Dave chuckles lightly. “Oh, you will be, don’t worry.”

\--

Dave was right, you are very surprised when you see Jade’s costume.

The two of you arrived to the campus and you walked with Dave to the open courtyard, where the party is being held. It’s still early when you arrive, so there aren’t that many people there, but most are dressed up. Dave is quick to spot Rose in the crowd, pointing her out to you.

She is in a Victorian style dress, the top is black, but the skirt is sunset like in appearance, where it is yellow and orange at the bottom and fading into a lovely set of purple shades as it goes up her waist. There are black patterns on the dress in the shape of tentacles and it looks like there are fabric ones underneath the dress. Her face is dolled up with purple and black make up, and on her head is an orange, black, and light blue tiny hat.

At work, Rose told you she had been working on her costume for months, and holy shit you can see why. You are impressed and utterly flabbergasted, shit man, your costume is nothing compared to what Rose is wearing.

“Hello John, Dave.” She greets you as she approaches. “Dave, did you even try?”

“No one understands my dream of becoming an orange, feathery asshole.” Dave dramatically sighs.

“Hey guys!” You jump at the sudden voice, turning around to greet Jade, only to stare into the face of a white wolf.

You can’t deny that the scream you let out was very unmanly.

Standing before you is a tall, white fur suit, with a rather realistic looking mask that had glowing, neon green eyes. “Gotcha!” You hear Jade’s voice come from the moving mouth. “I finally got my suit finished, do you like it?”

With a gulp, you nod. Holy shit, you did not expect this at all. “Damn Jade, I thought it was real for a moment.”

“Perfect! That’s exactly what I was going for!” She says as she removes the mask, shaking her head a little. She’s not wearing glasses, but she’s got contacts in, and her long hair is tied up in a messy bun. “Have you seen Jake and Dirk? I invited them and they ran off when we got here.”

“No, what are they wearing?” You ask and Jade says it’s from a movie. She doesn’t want to give it away but she tells you that you’ll like it. Damnit, she’s still gonna be vague.

Dave joins you in your quest to find his brother and boyfriend to see what they’re wearing. As you walk, you tell Dave about the campus, and where some of your classes are. You point out buildings and chat with him about it, he replies with some snark until he stops and pulls out his phone. “What are you doing?” You ask, watching him as he does something with youtube.

“Shh…” He tells you before clicking play on a video.

You listen as music begins and it takes you a moment to figure out what it is. As the music swells, Dave points out into the crowd of people, and you see where he’s pointing, not far from you is someone in a dinosaur suit. You know, one of those inflatable suits that have become super popular in meme videos and the like, and next to them was… Dirk?

You notice his costume and you understand why Dave decided to play the Jurassic Park theme. Dirk is dressed as Alan Grant and you can only assume that the t-rex that is currently stomping towards you and being dramatic, while the music still plays, is Jake.

Your assumptions are correct when you hear Jake’s happy voice come through the costume. “Howdy, guys! Great costumes!”

“Same to you, English.” Dave says, nodding his head, making his mask wiggle a bit. You snicker when the shades fall off, but Dirk is quick to catch them. He puts them back on the mask and Dave lets out a caw in return. You noticed that there are small slits in the sides of the mask to allow the arms of the shades to slip in.

“I love your costume, John! I’m a big fan of the Ghostbusters series, are you excited about the new one coming out next year?” Jake happily asks you and the next ten minutes are spent with you and Jake happily talking about the new Ghostbusters with girls instead of guys. Hey, the internet might think the idea is stupid, but you think it will be awesome to see! You don’t knock a movie until you watch it.

“Come on, John, show me more around the school.” Dave whines, leaning on you. “I know the idea of seeing an 80’s classic in the modern day and age is what gets you creaming your panties during the night, but I wanna keep looking at things. Or maybe find out if someone is giving out free candy here.”

“Haha, I’m sure someone has candy here, unless if you want to go trick or treating.” You reply and Dave rubs at his crow chin before giving a nod. “Wait, you do?” You’re not one to reject the idea of doing the age old tradition of trick or treating, but Dave is interested?

“Dude, free candy. You think I want to pass that shit up? Dude, you crazy.”

Dirk snorts at you two. “There are some people walking around with bowls of candy, but if you want to get the good shit, you better hit up the houses soon before curfew kicks in and boom, missed opportunity.”

“Haha, right, well, guess we’ll see you guys later or something? I love the costumes!” You say to Dirk and Jake before you walk off with Dave. You do find a few people with bowls of candies, taking enough to fill your pockets. Returning to your car, Dave tells you where to go to get some sweet candies, but you stop back at the apartment to grab pillow cases. Can’t go trick or treating without bags, right?

Once you have your bags and find the neighborhood, you and Dave head out. Two hours of running around, going door to door, avoiding getting hit with silly string by little kids, and even showing off your awesome costume, the two of you return to your car with cases full of sweet treats. Dave sits down and immediately starts to rummage through his bag, letting out a happy sound as he pulls out something wrapped in plastic wrap. It’s a caramel apple he got from an old lady, you took the popcorn ball full of candy corn she was also offering.

“Heh, is that going to be your first treat?” You ask him, pulling out to start driving back to the apartment.

“No, it will be my dessert after I order me up some sweet ass pizza.” He says before taking off his mask to look at you. “Hey… uh, do you… wanna come over? I’m plannin’ on watchin’ some movies, maybe some American Horror Story, Hotel just came out, gonna have some fun, but I don’t wanna be alone.”

You blink, glancing at him. He’s never invited you over, he always just comes over. You’ve never seen Dave’s apartment before, just the door. “Sure!” You grin happily. “I’d love to come over!”

\--

Before you go over to Dave’s, you get yourself cleaned up and into some comfortable clothes. Of course, since it’s Halloween, Ghostbuster t-shirt is a must! You stand outside of his door, giving it a knock before it opens. Dave’s out of his costume, down to a set of PJs that are two shades of purple with a moon on the front of the shirt. He’s out of his binder, but you don’t comment on that. He doesn’t have his shades on either and he looks both happy and embarrassed. “Yo man, come on in.”

He steps aside and you walk in. It smells faintly of oil paints and pumpkin spice; the walls have dozens of framed photos and photos just tacked on. Doodles on scratch and lined paper are all over and so are a few paintings. There’s an old couch in the living room and a large TV with several game consoles around it. There’s also a coffee table with two bottles of soda on it and two cups. The kitchen, when you glance at it, is… a mess. Dave is the kinda guy who has trouble remembering to do the dishes it seems. It’s also tacky, decorated in all sort of cheesy kitchen decorations you see suburban moms (and your dad) owning.

“Heh, I honestly thought it would be… messier.” You comment and Dave snorts as he closes the door.

“I straightened it up a bit, usually my brother keeps it more organized when he lives here.”

“Dirk lives with you?” You ask, setting your bag of candy down. You and Dave are gonna do a trade so you can get rid of your peanut candy. “I thought he lives with Jake.”

Dave shook his head. “He does live with Jake, but Jake’s job often has him traveling. Dirk doesn’t like being at his house alone and comes to live with me for a little bit, he helps with the rent while he’s here so I don’t complain. What movie do you want to start with? I was thinking… Child’s Play for a start, get some of the bullshit movies out of the way and work our way up to the good stuff.”

“And what, exactly, is the good stuff?” You ask with a grin on your face. You wince when you see the cover of the movie Dave hold up. “Oh come on, The Thing? Hell no! That shit’s scary as fuck!”

“It’s Halloween! We have to watch it; I’ll even watch Ghostbusters with you.”

“Throw in Scary Movie 3 and Paranormal Activity in and you’ve got a deal.”

“Blair Witch, we have to watch that.”

“Got any Romero movies?”

“John, please! I have all of those! Oh shit, we can watch Braindead! You’ll love it, it’s by Peter Jackson and it’s gory as fuck!”

You let Dave put in Child’s Play before he orders you guys a pizza or two. Forty minutes into the movie, with a long ass discussion about how this asshole knows voodoo magic and if this can be considered a Christmas movie cause it takes place around the time, the pizzas arrive and you and Dave enjoy your meal. While you’re eating the cheesy crust, you look around a little more, noticing a painting on the wall. It’s the one from the exhibit, the bird one you really liked. “Hey, I thought that wasn’t for sale.” You comment and Dave looks at the painting.

“It wasn’t.” He replies like it’s not anything big. You ask him why he has it then, and he shrugs. “Cause I painted it.”

You pause, looking at him with wide eyes. “No way!” You exclaim, Dave is that Rambunctious Crow guy?! Well… this explains how he got tickets to the show, the birds, the faint smell of paint in the apartment, and that one day you say him with paint on his hands… “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well…” He shifts, taking a sip of his pop. “I figured you’d think I was some stupid, artsy-fartsy hipster guy even more so than normal. And… I don’t like people knowing that I can paint and draw, outside of shit for my online comics.”

“What? Haha, holy shit, Dave! You’re so good, why hide it? And I already think you’re a hipster, but you’re not a very good one.” You grin and grab him in a headlock, giving him a noogie for one, not telling you, and two, cause he’s being all down on himself.

Dave squeals and flails, tossing a bit of pizza crust somewhere into the room. “John, you son of a bitch!” He shoves at you; his hair is a mess and he’s pouting. You laugh, until he jumps on you, ruffling up your hair in return. Ha! Jokes on you, Dave, your hair is already a mess!

You laugh and pull him in for a tight hug. “Haha, come on, asshole, let’s watch more of this stupid movie.”

He scoffs, but smiles at you anyway. Then he jabs you hard in the hip with his fingers and you release him with a yelp.

The rest of the night, way into the early hours of the morning, are spent with Dave on his couch. You don’t know when you passed out, but your phone says its five in the morning, and the last movie you two had watched, Friday the 13th, was on its menu screen. Dave is laying on top of you, drooling on your shirt and you chuckle a little, what a dork. He might punch you if you tell him he drools, and… oh my god, he’s mumbling to himself. Is… is he rapping the Fresh Prince theme?

Jeez, that is so weird, and kinda cute. You roll your eyes and grab the remote from the floor, turning off the TV. You’ll be exhausted when you go to your Tuesday classes, but right now you don’t care.

TBC


End file.
